Ottawa Cross

Thank You Belgium for a great time. You have taught me so much and showed me that I really want to keep learning and growing. While the cyclo-cross season was very short and I only got to race twice – I will cherish the time I had with you.

On and off the bike I have been so lucky to meet a fantastic group of people. Passion would be the central theme for my family of cyclo-cross friends and fellow racers. We are bound by a love of the bike, the mud, the sand and the constant challenge that racing cyclo-cross in Belgium gives us.

This was my fifth season of racing in Belgium and it seems like no matter how many times I’ve been, my eyes and brain are rewarded with more sights and lessons. People often ask me why I go to Belgium to race my bike – it can be hard to answer this question without rambling on and on. To answer this question simply – because there is no place like Belgium and no other place to be than at a cyclo-cross race in Belgium.

Thank You Belgium for reuniting with my friends, for introducing me to new friends, for reinforcing my love of the bike, for testing me in a way that no other place can, for reminding me that it is important to live each day to its fullest, for showing me that dreams do come true, for reminding me that the work is never done, and for forcing me to push my limits.

I miss you already and I will be back.

When I arrived here in Belgium on Nov. 10, I had a return plane ticket booked for Feb. 6, 2012… Instead I’m flying home on Dec. 29. To be blunt: this sucks. Not the most eloquent, but really this is the way I feel right now. I really wish I wasn’t going home. Don’t get me wrong – I’m super excited to see my big grey cat Murphy and to re-connect with friends and family. But I really would rather be here in Belgium racing my bike.

I’ve been doing a good job of staying positive these past few weeks and enjoying my “off-season” – but today is a tough day. I did get out for an easy two hour ride today. My back felt pretty good – some upper back muscle tightness but my lower back (where the vertebrae is fractured) felt fine. It is strange because I feel like I can race – but I know I can’t…

These past few days though have been action-packed with lots of off-the-bike action. On Christmas Eve, Marc, Nikoline, Jacob and I loaded into our trusty Peugeot and drove to Bergen-Op-Zoom, the Netherlands for the day. We had a great poke around in Hoppmans (massive bicycle store), a good lunch and wander around the town. We celebrated Christmas with a hearty and fairly healthy dinner and then the four of us went to the Blauberg church for the Christmas service.

Here are a couple photos from the day:

We had a great Christmas day with Marc racing to a solid 6th place in Balegem. The course had some crazy descents in it and was a tad muddy…

After the race we zipped off to Zolder so I could connect with some good pals. It was great to hang out with Nancy and Andy – I’m very happy that Nancy is getting better and is able to get back to racing. I talked to a bunch of other folks and then it was time to come back to the house here so Marc could get ready for racing on Dec. 26.

Today has been pretty chilled out. Nikoline and I got out for a good ride today. I’m going to miss Nikoline – we’ve become very good friends. We first met in Treviso, Italy at the 2008 World Cup and we’ve been friends ever since. We had a great ride chatting and ruminating about life, bikes, and everything in between. Really, we should be packing but I think we’ll just procrastinate and have a big packing marathon on Wednesday!

Alright, this post has gone on long enough! Time to do a bit of work and then we’re off for dinner out with our good friends. Really going to miss this place…

Have a fantastic day with your family and friends! Eat lots of good food. Drink some tasty drinks. Watch some cheesey Christmas movies. Go for a nice long walk. Play a rousing game of Scrabble. Play a raucous game of street hockey. Take a nap. Go watch a cyclo-cross race.

Enjoy being with the ones you love.

For cyclocross racers, this is a very special time of the year. Yes, it is Christmas season racing time. This means six races in nine days. This week is a whirlwind of racing, recovering, cleaning bikes, talking about the races and getting ready for the next race. A very special time indeed.

The week was kicked off yesterday with the Diegem Superprestige. I did this race way back in 2007 with the junior boys. What a race – the course is like no other race course and the crowd is positively electric. Yesterday marked the first time for the women’s race at Diegem. It was tough to not be racing but I thoroughly enjoyed hearing all about the race from Nikoline and Sarah – sounds like it was an epic day on the bike. The whole gang of us watched the men’s race last night – definitely a race worth putting on your “to do” list – either to race it or watch it…

This is our fifth Christmas in Belgium – amazing how time passes so quickly. The first few years here we didn’t do much for Christmas but now we’re into having a dinner with whomever is staying in the house and simply enjoying the day. After a spin on the bike we’re off to Bergen-Op-Zoom to visit the Hoppman’s bicycle store and then wander around the shops in this pretty little Dutch town. Tonight we’re having a big house dinner and closing the night off with midnight mass at the Blauberg church.

Racing kicks off again tomorrow with Marc racing in Balegem and the others going to Zolder to pre-ride for the Boxing Day Zolder World Cup.

We’ve only got five more days left here in Belgium (well really four since we fly out on Thursday) and we plan to make the most of them.

I wish you all the best during this Christmas season – I sincerely hope you’re able to spend this time with family and friends enjoying one another’s company. If I’ve learned anything over the five Christmases we’ve spent here in Belgium is that this time of the year isn’t about unwrapping presents – it is about family, friends and smiling faces.

A day in Surhuisterveen, the Netherlands has sealed the deal. Yes, I miss racing. Yes, I’ll be racing here again next season.

As I stood in the pit and watched Marc plow by slogging through the mud, all I could think was “Wow – that looks so awesome. I wish I could do the race.” Then while watching the women’s race I was filled with even more feelings of envy and jealousy – I wanted to be out there running through heavy black mud and getting my skinsuit nicely muddy.

I realized how much I missed racing when I found myself standing out in the pouring rain wishing I could be racing instead of standing there on the sidelines cheering.

So, I would say the trip to Surhuisterveen was a good one. I got to watch Marc race. I got to cheer on my friends. I got to meet Reza (hi – Reza). I ran into my old friend Harrie. We had a pleasant afternoon in Arnhem. I realized that I’m not ready to stop racing. I will be racing in Surhuisterveen next year.

(On a side note – I rode my bike outside today! I did 45 minutes of easy spinning with Marc supervising my every move. So far so good – my back feels good. Crossing my fingers that my back still feels the same tomorrow.)

This is going to be a mixed-bag blog post (just warning you now)… It is challenging to maintain a cyclocross-related blog during cyclocross season when I’m injured and can’t race. And I don’t know about you but I’m kind of tired of introspection and mumbling about racing and what I will or will not do… So in a departure from the trends of late, I’ve decided to tell you about a few things that I’m digging (yes, very much an ’80s term but I can’t help this) – so hold on, buckle in and prepare to be wowed (okay maybe not that dramatic but a girl can dream)….

Adele: oh wow – this singer is just so darn awesome. I’ve always been an Adele fan but last night sealed the deal. Watching the DVD of Adele’s concert at Royal Albert Hall has got me fully hooked. That was a performance. It was so very emotional and incredible. Yes, perhaps a bit superfluous but I’m not exaggerating. If you’re having one of those days, I highly recommend plopping down on the couch with a warm mug of something delicious and watching Adele do what she does best. She had myself, Nikoline and Sarah speechless last night – and that is saying a lot!

Converse: a couple of weeks ago I picked up a very sweet pair of Converse sneakers. These sneakers are white leather with a purple insert and they have purple laces. They are hot. So very hot. I love them. Problem is that I can’t wear them right now – I want to keep them clean and the muck and wet of Belgium won’t help in these efforts. So my white hot Converse sneakers sit and wait for the dry and dusty days ahead. I first worse Converse sneakers when I was a teenager in grade nine – I had pink ones with orange laces (yes, always a fashion maven) and they were so very cool. These new sneakers make me feel like that grade niner all over again – on the edge of something big but not really sure what it will be.

Kombucha: I’m full-on addicted to this strong and powerful nectar. Kombucha is made from fermenting a yeast and bacterial culture and from this a wonderful drink is brewed. Admittedly this doesn’t sound that appetizing, but trust me, one sip of the powerful Kombucha and your tastebuds and digestive system will be thanking you. Since being here in Belgium I’ve become hooked on Kombucha that is brewed/fermented a mere 20 km from here – yes local and completely natural Kombucha. There is no sugar or extra flavour added to this drink – straight up Kombucha power. I’m wondering how I can bring a few big bottles of it home with me…

The Killing: I’m spending a lot of time on the trainer these days and I need to stay occupied and thanks to Marc, I’ve become a fan of the television program The Killing. This is a murder/cop/detective show but it is so much better than the standard stuff found on American and Canadian television channels. This show is good – really good. So good that I don’t even notice the time ticking by as I’m pedalling towards my future.

Belgian Chopped Veggies: we live next door to a small grocery store and this grocery store sells these wonderful bags of freshly chopped, sliced, and diced vegetables. Think a mix of leeks, onion, celery, carrots, and a bunch of other vegetables all freshly chopped up in the perfect size to be added to eggs, stir-frys, soups, stews and pretty much anything else. So very tasty and so very good for us. I can’t get enough of these veggies – the pre-packed salads in a bag aren’t even close to this bag of nourishment. Seriously good.

Alpro Soya Yogurt: sadly my guts don’t tolerate dairy anymore. This has been very hard to get used to. I love cottage cheese and yogurt – but was forced to give up both. I’ve tried soy yogurt at home but it tastes like dirt. So I really did go out on a limb when I picked up a six-pack of Alpro Soya plain yogurt a couple of weeks ago. Oh what a smart move this was – this yogurt is so darn smooth and thick. And best of all – it doesn’t taste like dirt. Nope, tastes like the real thing – it doesn’t have the tang of high-quality plain yogurt but it comes fairly close. It is particularly good with a chopped apple, a handful of raisins, some unsalted peanuts and chia seeds. I’m crossing my fingers that I can find this in Ottawa…

Yoga Journal: it seems that whenever I come to Belgium I bring the most recent issue of Yoga Journal with me. I don’t read this magazine at home, but here in Belgium it just feels right. I guess because I’m always looking for ways to escape the constant bike racing thought cycle that happens when living with a bunch of bike racers. Well in recent weeks, I’ve become really into good ‘ol Yoga Journal, I’m guessing this partly has to do with not being able to do yoga right now – instead I’m reading about it, thinking about what it means to me and looking forward to getting back to MountainGoat Yoga for some hot power yoga.

Leuven: this city is one my faves in Belgium. When I first came to Belgium in 2007, Marc and I hit up this nearby city one afternoon and I was hooked. I discovered the Punto Cafe, the old town, the International Magazine Store and the charm of this university city. I’ve been to Antwerp and Brussels – I’ll take Leuven any day. Last week we visited the Leuven KerstMarkt – this was a lot of fun and really was a great way to chill out in the city. I haven’t got much time left here in Belgium and I’ve been thinking about visiting Antwerp again but I’m really leaning towards Leuven – this little city has stolen my heart. Besides, I need to hit up the Punto Cafe for a tasty soy latte and sumptuous chocolate brownie…

So there you have it, some things that I’m digging these days. It goes without saying that I’m really really digging all the great products that my sponsors have provided me with (but I thought you’d like a glimpse of my off-the-bike favourites). Well, really I do have to say my Lolë clothes have been a lifesaver here in Belgium – I’m looking sharp and staying warm thanks to this Canadian clothing company. And I’m definitely able to stay on my gluten-free/dairy-free diet when on on the move thanks to Clif Bar. (Sorry can’t help it – looking good and having a full tummy are critical to me…)

Alright, I’m off. I’ve got some virtual pavement pounding to do… Yes, looking for some new writing work – I’m open to pretty much anything and I can tell you now that there are two locations that I’m very interested in: Ottawa and Belgium…

HI – remember me? Sorry for the lack of posts in this space… Guess it is kind of hard to think of what to write about when I’m not racing during race season.

I’m still riding the trainer and have progressed to riding for an hour now. My back feels good while riding and after the rides. I’m doing some “big ring” riding now and will start paying some attention to my wattage tomorrow.

You might be able to tell that I’m just not feeling jazzed right now. I’m very happy to be able to ride the trainer. I’m relieved that my body is healing well. But I just feel a little bit lost.

Not sure what to do next season. Some days I want to race and go for it. Other days I wonder if it might be time to hang up the skinsut and shift gears a bit. Or maybe it is time to get back into some road racing and get out on my mountain bike for some fun?

And yes, I know I just wrote a post earlier in the week about how much I miss racing and can’t wait to get back to it. But honestly, I just don’t know. The thing is, I love riding my bike – but do I or can I still race? What is going to happen the first time I have to ride my bike down a steep descent?

Bike racers race. But when do bike racers know it is time to stop? With time on my hands, my brain has a chance to wander and waffle…

All this being said, the time here in Belgium is going well. Marc and I are able to get out and do some fun stuff. Last night we went to Leuven and visited the Kersmarkt. We’re off to Holland next week for a mid-week race and will likely do a bit of sightseeing as well. Life is good here in Belgium and I know how lucky I am to be living here and taking it all in. In between I’m doing some writing work and sending out my resume/writing samples to any and all interested parties (hint – are you looking for a writer?).

So this is where I’m at. A funny place to be. Still a very fortunate place to be. I think the best thing to do is to “forget” about racing for a little while. Focus on getting healed and then go from there.

It is hard to know when it is time to stop racing. For some it is a change in life circumstances (job, family, age). For others it is an injury or illness. For others still it is a feeling of “being done”. I think for a bike racer, this is one of the hardest decisions to be made.

I’ll be honest, I’ve been grappling with these thoughts lately… My recent crash combined with feeling a bit “old” and thinking it might be time to get back to full-time work – has all contributed to these thoughts. As you can imagine, this makes for some challenging times!

I’ve had a lot of talk about this with Marc, Nikoline and others. What I’ve learned is that no one can make this decision for me – this one has to be all about me. So I thought and wanted to believe that I was done with racing my bike… And then I watched a few races on television – all it took was watching Scheldecross and Overijse on the weekend and watching some race clips last night with Sarah and I was convinced.

I miss bike racing. I really wish I could have raced this past weekend on two very awesome courses. (I raced Overijse in 2007 – it was my first UCI race in Belgium.) I missed seeing my racing pals and being part of the pre-race, race and post-race action. I felt jealous of my friends’ race experiences.

I’m not done. I’ve got more races in me. I want to have that season that I was ready to have this year. I want to do all the races I had planned on racing this year. I want to conquer my fears of the “Zolder descent”. I want to race on courses I’ve never been able to race on before.

So after much thinking, analyzing, talking and processing – I’ve decided that I’m not done. I love racing my bike. I’m pretty confident I’ve got more watts in my legs, more confidence in my heart, and a desire to get all I can from this cyclocross racing life.

So where does this leave me in the middle of December as I sit here injured and watching the 2011-2012 cyclocross season slip away? Well, I’m taking this time as my “off-season” – now is the time that I’m recharging my batteries, letting my body heal, giving my brain a break from constant thoughts of racing, training, recovery and technical skills practice, I’m being a bit more relaxed with my nutrition – and just generally taking this time for what it is. This way I’ll be all ready to go in January when I get the final okay to start training again – I guess in the end I’m pretty darn lucky to be able to go through this…

I meant to write this post yesterday but the day literally ran away from me. It has been an action-packed two days with Marc arriving on Tuesday and Sarah and Dan arriving on Wednesday. So, Wednesday was also a big day in one other regard – I had my appointment with the orthopedist surgeon…

Good news – I can start doing light rides on the trainer. I can ride for up to 45 minutes at a very easy pace and cadence. I’m not really training yet. Simply just riding. The doctor was impressed that I’m experiencing little to no pain (most days I have zero back pain). He explained the injury to me in further detail and really it is the muscle that attaches to the L3 that is causing the pain to occur.

The other thing the doctor told me is that I simply need to listen to my body. Easier said than done of course… But I understand that any signs of pain are not good – he said the moment I feel pain I need to stop riding because this is a sign that I’m not ready. I’ve promised Marc, coach Steve and Nikoline that I’ll be honest with myself and listen to my body.

In two weeks I’m allowed to try some riding outside and even do some mounts and dismounts… It will about another six weeks before I can start running again. And likely 10 weeks until I can get back into yoga and deep stretching. But this is all progress.

The one thing this does not mean is that I can start racing again this season. The doctor stressed that I cannot risk a fall. A fall would be very bad news. So the season is still over but at least I can do something now!

When I got back from the doctor yesterday and told Marc and Nikoline my good news, Marc asked “so why are you crying?”. My response, “because I’m so happy that I can ride again”. Perspective is huge – I’ll be riding the trainer indoors at a very easy pace while my friends are riding outside and getting to race – but at this point I’ll take it!