Today I was out with friends and they asked about our summer trip.
The one where Marc and I will be riding L’Etape du Tour de France Femmes Avec Zwift—120 km from Vaison-la-Romaine to the summit of Mount Ventoux.
This is a 120 km ride with 3000 meters of elevation gain.
It’s a lot.
The enormity of it all really sank in today as I was talking about the distance and overall difficulty of this route.
For perspective, a 100 km ride here on the roads around Osgoode takes me a little under 4 hours. These are flat roads with a few bumps—not really hills and definitely not mountains.
The first 100 km of the August 6 L’Etape ride will be on a mix of short punchy climbs, rolling hills, big hills, and some flat roads. According to the Internet the route along the roads of the Baronnies, the vineyards of the Rhône Valley and the Dentelles de Montmirail to Mount Venotoux is considered beautiful but deceptively hard.
This is when I want to tell myself “don’t believe everything you read on the Internet.” But in this case, it’s true.
I realized today that this will be a long day on the bike. A very long and challenging day. Not only the distance and elevation but also the heat. August in France is hot.
I started thinking about where my fitness is and how much work I have to do to get ready for this ride.
I started thinking about my on bike nutrition and hydration.
I started thinking about how managing my ileostomy will make things extra complicated.
I started thinking about all the things.
And then I thought about what I did 16 years ago on this very weekend.
On January 31, 2010 I raced in the World Cyclocross Championships.
This was a very hard thing. The racing seasons and training leading up to this day were like nothing I’d ever done before.
The race day conditions were intense—hovering around 0 celsius on a course covered in snow and black ice.
I did it. And I had one of the best races of my cyclo-cross career.
So I’m leaning hard on those years and lessons from racing cyclo-cross to help build my self-confidence and remind me that I can do hard things.
The key is consistency. Putting in the effort and the work. Not every ride and strength workout will be fun. But when they are stacked on top of each other, the end result will be huge gains in fitness, self-confidence and ultimately kicking imposter syndrome to the curb.
Yes—I have massive imposter syndrome when it comes to riding my bike. I know. It makes no sense.
I think it’s because of what I dealt with the entire time I was racing cyclo-cross—a lot of whispering and talking behind my back (that I knew about) about how I wasn’t good enough, shouldn’t be doing it, blah blah.
This talk really dragged me down.
It made it hard some days to get out and ride, but in the end I used those people as little devils on my shoulder—they were with me for every interval effort, ride in the rain, slog through the mud, crash, and race—I used their words as fuel to push harder and dig deeper.
It’s funny how 16 years later I still carry these emotions with me.
Sigh.
So what does this all mean for the weeks and months leading up to August 6?
I just have keep doing what I know I can do really well: do the work and just keep doing it.
I (you) are meant to do hard things.
A few hard things:




































