“Left leg, right leg, left leg, right leg…“

“This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. This is fine.“

“This isn’t anything you haven’t done before. You can do this.“

“I want to stop. Maybe just a short rest. No. You can’t stop. So long as you’re passing people you have to keep going.”

“When you get to Chalet Reynard, you can stop. Get some water and Coke. It’s only 6 km to the top from there.”

“Keep drinking. Eat. You need the calories.”

“It’s hot. So hot. It’s the same for everyone. You’re still sweating. You’re fine.”

“Keep pedaling. You’re passing people. You can do this.”

This was my internal monologue for the final 21 kilometers of L’Etape du Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift on August 6. This last 21 km was up the legendary Mount Ventoux. A long and I can honestly say, brutal climb.

For the entire climb I passed people. Not because I had set a blistering pace, but because this is a mountain that tells you very quickly if you’ve done the training, got the pacing right, and have been eating and drinking enough.

I nailed all of these key factors during the 90 kms leading up to the Giant of Provence.

“Your job is to drink both these bottles. One job. Drink.”

“There’s a big guy with shaved legs. Get on his wheel. Stay on his wheel.”

“Geez, there are some fast groups going by. Maybe I should try to ride with one? No, remember you’ve got the mountain still.”

“Keep pedaling. Just keep pedaling.”

“Sigh, eat more gummies. I know you’re sick of them. Eat them anyway.”

The day started with forcing myself to eat three croissants with peanut butter. Normally I have zero issues eating croissants, but on the morning of August 6, I was feeling a bit nervous.

I think everyone in the breakfast room was a bit on edge. Minimal conversation. Blips of nervous laughter. Zero eye contact.

Marc and I rode over to the start corals. This is hard to explain. Imagine 12 start corals with 1,000 people in each one. So many people everywhere. I was in coral 7 and Marc was in coral 8.

As is typical with massive events like this, there is a lot of waiting around in the coral. Once I found my coral, all I could do was sit.

Strangely my mind completely cleared. I was fine. Really fine. No longer nervous. All I had to do now was ride my bike. Something I feel like I was born to do.

“Look for gaps. Don’t get sucked in by the pace.”

“Oh, there’s a fast group. Get on it. Good. Find the draft.”

“You’re doing great.”

“Drink. Eat. I know you don’t feel like it. Do it.”

“Here we are, the Col du Propiac. No problem. Get to the hotel and then it’s five corners to the top.”

The Col du Propiac was the first major climb on the route. Fortunately I had ridden it the week prior with Rob Sule, the co-owner of the Maison Sule where we were staying in Malaucene. Thanks to Rob, I had ridden the entire course from Vaison La Romaine to Malaucene.

This was a massive help on the day. I knew what to expect and how to pace myself on the Col du Propiac and Col du Suzette. And critically, I knew that after the Suzette there was another big climb that wasn’t featured on the route map – the Col de la Chaîne.

For all three climbs, I stuck to my pace. And like Mount Ventoux, I passed people up all three climbs. This is new for me. Climbing is not my forte – but listening to my body and riding within myself is something I’m very good at.

In fact, on the day of the ride, I felt super confident and strong on the rides.

I didn’t feel like this the first time I rode them. I was in a major battle with my brain. I was surprised by how hard the climbs felt and was so afraid of not making it to the top.

And after a week or so of riding in France, I was ready. Doing a ride like this is about more than physical strength. It’s about confidence. I needed to know that I could do it.

The Saturday before the big day, I rode the last 45 km or so of the course, riding the Col de la Madeleine into Bedoin and then climbing Mount Ventoux. I was so nervous about this ride. So afraid that I wouldn’t be able to do it.

The last few kms of this climb are like nothing else – long steep ramps that never seem to end.

“Marc – I did it! I’m at the top.”

“Wow. Amazing. Good job. I knew you could do it. Never any doubt.”

While I wrote that on the day of the ride I was confident and strong, I didn’t feel like this the day before. I was so nervous. So scared. So terrified of not being able to do it.

“What if my legs give out?“

“What if I can’t do it? Can I handle the heat?“

“What if I get a flat tire?“

“What if, what if, what if...”

At Masion Sule, we met a lovely family – Katrin, Christian, and Moritz. Moritz is a 17-year old cyclist brimming with confidence. He had no doubt in his mind that he could ride up the Ventoux. In fact over three days, he rode up it 5 times!

I tried really hard to channel Moritz’s confidence. I thought about him a lot during the final climb and how sure he was of his abilities. Thanks Moritz – you showed me what confidence looks like and you helped me get up that mountain.

“You’re almost there. Keep pedaling.”

“Don’t look up. Eyes on the Garmin. Just get through the red.”

“Drink.”

“There are people everywhere. You’re passing them. Keep going.”

“You are so close. You are doing it!“

“Wait, is that Marc? Marc is on the mountain?“

As I made the final turn to the last steep ramp, I heard “Vicki – you’re doing it! I’m so proud of you. Way to go!!“. I knew Marc had finished the ride but I had no idea he was waiting for me at the summit.

He waited two hours for me in the hot sun. Hearing his voice gave me that last boost of energy I needed to get up and over the finish line.

“I did it!“

“I really did it.”

I was overwhelmed with fatigue, emotion, and complete joy. This ride that I had been thinking about since November 2025 was done. I had done it. I did the training. I got on my bike and I rode it.

I am so proud of me. 10 years ago I would never have believed I could do this.

What a way to celebrate the gift of having a second chance at life.

This ride was hard. Really hard. But I had so many reasons to never give up. To find that extra bit.

I owe massive thanks to ulcerative colitis and my ileostomy.

You gave me what I needed to get to the top of the mountain.

This was truly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s changed me.

Wowza, not long now until we’re getting on the plane and flying to France. I’m equally parts excited and nervous.

I know that I have zero reason to be nervous about completing L’Etape du Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift on August 6. My training has been going really well. I’m riding well, I feel good on the bike, and I know that I can do it.

But there is that nagging fear of what if something happens? What if I get a flat tire? What if my pouch leaks? What if I feel not great on the day? All of these “what ifs” can easily stack up and cause a spiral of self-doubt.

Fortunately, I’ve done hard things before. I know that this happens — I neglect to acknowledge the training, my experience, and fitness — and get caught up in self-doubt and impostor syndrome.

Luckily I know when it’s happening and can talk myself back (usually). This nervousness is all down to the hugeness of riding L’Etape.

For me, this ride is about more than the 121 km and climbing Mount Ventoux.

The journey I’ve been on since 2015, the last time I rode up Mount Ventoux has been a lot. Crossing the finish line of L’Etape will be a real full-circle moment.

The last time I rode up Mount Ventoux, I had to get off 600 meters from the finish. I was completely done. Could not pedal at all. Turns out I was in a full-blown ulcerative colitis flare. Remicade, the medication I was taking, had stopped working.

It was this flare that precipitated my surgery on August 8, 2016 to have my colon removed.

10 years later, I’ll be riding 121 km — summiting Mount Ventoux. Feels pretty good to think about this.

I’ve come a long way in 10 years. It really feels like a lifetime ago, when I was so sick that I couldn’t leave the house and was in a very deep pit of despair.

How lucky am I to have this second chance at life and truly living? I’ve imagined what it will feel like to cross under that finishing banner at the top of Ventoux. I expect to be elated, exhausted, and very emotional. Just thinking about it makes my eyes a bit blurry.

And I’m not going to lie, I just spent a few minutes reading every page on the L’Etape website. I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Reading about the time cut is what gets me. I know I’ll be fine. But still, there’s that little voice whispering “what if”…

I need to stop reading the website! I need to trust my training. I need to remember that I have the will, tenacity, and capability to push myself as deep as possible to make sure I cross the line.

I know I can and will do it. There is nothing that will stop me from crossing the finish line.

Can’t wait. Not long now. I’m sure the next few weeks will fly by.

P.S. here some highlights from our last trip to Malaucene, France and riding up and down Mount Ventoux.

I’ve learned something huge about myself over the past 6 months.

I am a goal-oriented person.

Give me a goal and I’ll do everything I can to achieve it.

If I don’t have a goal, I won’t be all in and committed. I’ll do what I feel like when the conditions are ideal.

This early spring has not been conducive to riding outside. It’s been cold. It’s been very windy.

Last year I wouldn’t have been riding. I would have found excuses to not ride—too cold, too windy, I’ve got other stuff to do, I’l go for a walk, I’m tired, etc.

Not this year! There is nothing quite like a 120 km ride that ends with climbing Mount Ventoux to get me out on my bike regardless of the conditions and whatever else I’d prefer to be doing.

And you know what—I feel fantastic about this. Setting this goal has been the best decision I’ve made in a long time.

The commitment to riding all winter on the trainer, getting up early to do a weight workout, foam rolling, stretching, etc. has trickled over into other parts of my life.

I’m doing more drawing, taking courses, pushing myself.

I’m spending a lot of time on professional development—getting certified as a content engineer, learning about Skills, Projects, Codex, Custom GPTS, Agents, and how to use AI to create efficient systems for better content creation.

I’m reading more books than I ever have.

I feel like I’m taking advantage of being alive. I’m using all the resources I have to fully develop all aspects of myself. This really excites me.

I think I’ve been in a bit of stasis for a while—nothing to shoot for, nothing that got me really excited, and my brain kind of relaxed a bit.

Not anymore! In the last week, I’ve been more productive and happier than I can remember.

Of course, for a Type A like me, there is a fine line. Too many things on the “I’m so excited I have to do this now” list can quickly become overwhelm, pushing me into decision fatigue and not being able to get anything done.

Good news is—I’ve become pretty astute at noticing this and saying to myself “what is the next thing?” and creating to do lists of only 3 or 4 items that I confidently know I can accomplish.

What a revelation it is to be in this state of mind and body.

I feel stronger, smarter, more confident, and ready to keep going.

You might be reading this and thinking “oh geez, Vicki is going to crack any day now.” Don’t worry, I’ve thought of this.

The course I’m taking is only three weeks long. I’ve finished the first week. I put limits on how much time I spend on the computer. I make sure I’m prioritizing riding, fresh air, relaxing, and doing nothing.

The thing is—there is lots of time in the day, I just wasn’t using it effectively.

What a difference a few goals make in finding the time and recognizing what wasn’t serving me.

If you’re curious about what I’m learning about AI and content engineering, I’m posting weekly on Good Words Work about this. Soon there will be new content about content engineering on my website—this is a new service I’ll be offering as soon as I finish the course and get certified.

I created this image with ChatGPT for the new column on my website. Pretty cool isn’t it?

And here are a few of my latest charcoal drawings:

It’s hard to believe that four months from today Marc and I will have ridden the 120 km long L’Etape du Tour de France Femmes avec Zwift.

It’s a pretty cool feeling to know that in four months, I’ll have accomplished a big goal.

Getting ready for L’Etape has made the winter one of the best I can remember in a long while. I was busy all winter either riding my bike in the basement, out fat biking, lifting weights, or recovering.

I’m not a big fan of the snow or the cold so having a structured training plan with a very large carrot at the end has been massive for me.

I remember many years ago when I ran a marathon and afterwards my brother asked me, “When did you know you would finish it?” and I responded “As soon as I registered.”

Admittedly I had some trepidation after registering for L’Etape. The scope of this ride is immense and when I registered I was at what I considered to be a low level of fitness.

But here I am today feeling very confident—confident enough to say “Yes, I will finish L’Etape on August 6.”

I trust in my training and the expertise of my coach, Steve Weller to get me ready for this ride. A big part of it won’t be the legs, it will be the head. And the good news is I’m doing pretty dang good in this department as well. For me, if the training is going well and I’m doing all the workouts, I’m able to build and maintain my confidence.

The old saying, “Trust your training,” really does go a long way.

Off the bike I’ve been very consistent with my strength program. I’m fortunate to be working with Paul Kernaghan at 613 Fitness. He’s put together a few programs for me now and I’m seeing real gains in my strength and mobility.

So, yeah, things are going well. We have our plans fully booked as well for France. We’ll essentially stay in Malucene for two weeks with a short four-day break in Vaison-la-Romaine, a short 13 minute drive away while we do L’Etape. Now just the picky details of flights and a car…

Away from bike riding and thinking about bike riding, life has been busy. Good busy!

I’ve got a new volunteer role as a member of the Nepean Sports Wall of Fame Board of Directors. We’ve only had a couple meetings so far, but I’m looking forward to getting involved with the communications and marketing team to help promote the NSWF.

I’m also still volunteering for the Ottawa Hospital as a Patient and Family Advisor—with a new position on the newsletter committee.

And lastly I support people who have ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s Disease and who may be considering having their colons removed and living with a permanent or temporary ileostomy. When I was getting ready for my surgery and a new ileostomate, it would have made a massive difference to me to have had someone to talk to about all the things no one tells you about life with an ileostomy.

I’m always happy to help and answer any questions and to talk about my experiences with an ileostomy and ulcerative colitis. (If you’re someone who wants to talk about ulcerative colitis or ileostomy life or you know someone who might want to talk—please do not be shy, send me an email.)

All of this fills me up and supports my soul. At the end of the day, I just want to know that I’ve made a difference in someone’s life. I think this is more important than any accolades, bank account balance, or fancy job title.

Oh, and more exciting news—I’ve signed up for two drawing classes. Yes, I know… I’ve got a lot on my plate. But don’t worry, I’ve got an extra large plate!

I start a four-week in-person drawing class on April 8 and then on April 28 I start an online four-week charcoal drawing class. I’m super excited about both of these. It’s really difficult to find a charcoal drawing class, so this really is going to be special.

So really that’s about it. Some of you may know that Marc had septorhinoplasty surgery about four weeks ago. He is doing really well. Back to riding and the best thing ever—he can finally breathe through his nose again. We’re super thankful to his brilliant surgeon and the care he received at the Carleton Place Hospital.

And, one last thing because I wouldn’t be a good Auntie if I didn’t brag a bit about my nephew. Henry is 16 years old and one of the top BMX Freestyle athletes in Canada. He’s currently fundraising so he can travel to three competitions in the U. S.

Henry has created an excellent web page that tells you all about his story, his goals, and accomplishments.

Brace yourself when you watch Henry’s video, it may leave you gasping when you see him fly through the air on his bike and your eyes may get a bit watery after listening to him share his hopes and dreams.

And once you’ve watched the video and read about his goals and upcoming competitions, watch his Thank You To My Supporters video. It is super sweet and really makes my heart full to see so many people supporting this young man.

Thanks for reading all the way to end. Have a super great day. I hope you’ve got lots to fill up your plate and soul.

The other day I was in the car with Marc and I said, “I’m feeling very confident about the Ventoux ride. I know I’ll be able to do it.”

Marc followed this with, “What is making you feel this way?” A fair question since I haven’t been exuding confidence about my fitness lately.

“I’m feeling good. I can feel myself getting fitter. And I know I have the mental strength and capability to do this ride. I’m a very strong cyclist, so I know I can do this.”

Something has finally clicked for me. I am finally willing to admit that I’m a very talented athlete and person.

For too long I’ve discounted my abilities and accomplishments—chalking them up to hard work and not recognizing what I’ve achieved.

So, yeah—I’m proud of me. I believe in me. I’m excited for August and what the future holds.

Time to hold my head high, stand tall and be a believer.

(You have to know this was not an easy post for me to write. My biggest fear is that people will think I have a big ego. If you’re a long time reader of this blog, you’ll know this isn’t true—but if this is the first post you’re reading—you may think otherwise.)

Onwards and upwards.

A big shout out to Brad Stulberg and his latest book The Way of Excellence—this book has been fundamental in reshaping my mindset.