Trying to be Regular

It’s a new month and I thought it made sense to try to get back into the habit of regular posts. Remember when I used to post every single day?

Geez those were the days. I had tales about riding and racing my bike in Belgium, food discoveries, and the highs and lows of trying to get my bike to go faster and faster.

And now here we are. Many years removed from the life in the bike lane. Well, I’m still in it – but not really fully in it.

Life is more now. I’ve finally learned that I’m not a bike rider/racer. I’m a person who has lots of interests and does lots of stuff. The bike is part of me. But it is not all of me. It’s taken a long while to get to this understanding. This is probably a good thing.

So yeah let’s see if I can post at least once a month.

There is some stuff going on that will likely be post-worthy. This reminds me of a key message from CopyCon21 – what is important to you (the content person/brand/company) is not necessarily what is important to your audience.

So yeah, who knows if what is happening with me is post-worthy for you – but it is for me. And since it’s my website, well, you get the message.

Upcoming – moving to Osgoode. But first final packing bonanza (this weekend). And next movers taking all of our heavy stuff away. Then we move. In between there’s the Feist concert. Cyclocross season starts (I’m not racing) – but I’ll be there with you in spirit – yes, you can do it. And I’m splashing around in the pool. Oh and I finally have a library card. Bring on all the books.

Quick edit here: forgot to remind you that Adele’s new album hitting the airwaves on November 19! Woohoo. Can’t wait to listen to my second BFF’s album. Save the date!!!

Learned the fly yesterday. So that’s a big thing. Well, a version of the fly. Maybe more like an uncoordinated semi-drowning taking on lots of water thrashing fly.

Oh, and I’m fully hooked on daily journaling. Every single day I scribble a few sentences or paragraphs in a black note book I keep on the kitchen counter (so it’s visible and obvious to me). This is a great way to calm the brain and get stuff out of my head. Probably also why I’m posting less here – a lot of the stuff is going in a little black book instead of on the big black hole of the Internet.

K – that’s all I’ve got. A lot of rambling. I’d like to blame the cold brew (my latest liquid obsession) – but it’s decaf. So yeah, maybe it’s just me.

Lucky in Life

Life is what you make it – blah blah blah. But honestly, I think there is a big part of luck that comes into making the life you want. And I am very lucky.

This past month has been a whirlwind with buying a house, getting a house ready to sell, selling our house, and continuing through this chaos with work and staying active. To say August was a lot is an understatement.

Now that our house is sold, both of us have had a chance to sit back and realize how lucky we are. From the day we started getting our house ready to sell, our friends and family volunteered to help us in anyway they could.

Moving furniture, loading the POD, listening to me stress about every little thing, building fences, replacing Calvin-scratched screens, and generally doing every little thing that needed doing. You know who you are. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

We’re super excited to be moving to Osgoode and creating a home in our new house. We’ve been here in Barrhaven since 1999. And honestly at the start of the summer we had zero plans to move. But life has a funny way of pointing you in the direction that makes sense.

So here we are. Living with minimal furniture (it’s in the POD or in the garbage heap) and not a lot of clothes or belongings. Someone might have even been a bit overzealous with the packing, so now we need to go buy some fall jackets…

We learned a few things during the three weeks of constant house chaos. Primarily that we can do a lot when we put our minds to it. We had a very long list of to do’s and I honestly didn’t think we’d get through it – but we did (again, thank you to all the people who helped us).

Secondly we learned that change is good. Scary but good. Now that the selling is behind of us, we’re much more excited about what lies ahead. We bought our new place in Osgoode on Monday August 2nd and from then on until this past Tuesday, it was non-stop go. We didn’t really have a chance to think or talk about the new house, the possibilities, ideas, and our plans. And now, both of us are looking at furniture, talking about gardening (what!), and our dream ideas for our house.

If you’re curious about our new place, here is the link: Osgoode.

And in case you’re wondering what else has been going on – here are a few photos that sum up the awesome summer so far (no, it’s not over – September can still be summer!):

Yes, very lucky in life. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Summer Catch Up

This is my summer so far! Lots of riding and swimming with rad people.

This is another pandemic summer. I know things are much better than they were but frankly, even with both vaccines circulating in my body – I’m not 100% ready for normal times.

In fact, I kind of like the new times. I’m less rushed. I have more time to be still. I find my weekends are not over-packed with rushing from one thing to the next. I appreciate activities and connections with friends more.

I have to say that one of the major highlights of 2021 and this summer is the Ottawa Women’s Cycling Club. Who knew we would have 90 women in this club?! Amazing! Riding with these people is hard to describe.

I always come home feeling lifted and inspired.

For the last few weeks we’ve been hosting a group riding and confidence skills clinic. Thanks to the amazing Sam, the women in our clinic are improving by leaps and bounds. It’s so motivating and inspiring to see these people learn skills and gain so much bike confidence.

Thank you to all the members in the Ottawa Women’s Cycling Club – you have put a new spark in my riding!

And when I’m not riding, I’m likely swimming or thinking about swimming. I’m a new swimmer and as is my way, I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this sport. There is so much to learn – and this is why I love it. Plus the feeling of gliding across the water is super special.

I’ve met some fantastic people thanks to swimming. It’s a real bonus to connect with like-minded people who don’t mind getting up for a 6:30 a.m swim on the weekend. Thanks to these people, I’m motivated to set some swimming goals.

Non-Sweaty Life….

Of course, it’s not all sweating and recovering from sweating around here. In between work and regular home life, there’s been some drawing (not as much as I would like), reading (again not as much as I want), and general sitting.

Some days it seems like I do more sitting than anything else. This is new for me. I like it. I’m letting go of “shoulding” on myself. And just learning to be.

Marc and I have started looking for a new-to-us house. I know right?! Surprise! So this does take up time. Not to mention the work we are doing to our house to get it ready for staging and showing. We bought this house in 1998 – so it’s been a long while since we’ve really looked at houses and thought about packing and moving.

And honestly, that’s about it.

It looks like cyclocross will be happening this year. Hooray!!! So soon, I’ll start hosting some cyclocross clinics for women and start meeting up with friends for ‘cross practice. I really hope ‘cross happens. I miss seeing over 50 women charging down a race course and hearing the race stories afterwards.

Imagine what it will look like with all those red Ottawa Women’s Cycling Club jerseys on the start line and flowing over the barriers…

That’s it. Nothing special. No deep thoughts. Just regular old life. Suppose this is why I haven’t written in a while. Hopefully next time I’ll have something more interesting to tell you.

Real Life with Ulcerative Colitis

“I hate my body.”

I said this to Marc this morning.

I hate the intense abdominal pains that come out of nowhere. I hate the way my body responds to food. I hate that I do not have any safe foods anymore. I hate that I can’t rely on my body.

This is real life with ulcerative colitis for me. I look great – healthy, fit, tanned, etc. I’m active with cycling, swimming, walking, and generally living life.

But under all this – the truth comes out. Life with a chronic illness like ulcerative colitis is hard. It’s there everyday. The fear of what food will do. The pain that comes out of nowhere. Not knowing if this will be a good day or a bad day.

I did not write this for sympathy.

I’m writing this because I believe it’s important to never sugarcoat real life. I’m writing this to remind people that what you see on the outside is not the whole story.

I write this to let others out there living with ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s Disease, and other chronic illnesses know that you’re not alone – there are people around who know and who understand.

It’s Okay to Not Do It

This post is a reminder for my future self – it’s okay to not do it, it’s okay to not do all the things in one day, it’s okay to sit and just be still.

It seems that in between the articles about languishing and flourishing, there is the constant unspoken message of needing to always be doing. At least, this is how I feel. I read the articles about how it’s okay to feel burnt out or to be lacking motivation but then I think “yeah, whatever – I still have 15 things I need to get done today.”

And then I try to do those 15 things – some happen, some don’t, and generally of the ones that do get done – most are wrapped in frustration, fatigue, and disinterest.

And here we are today.

I had planned on leaving the house at 7 a.m. for a longish ride to Merrickville and then filling the rest of the day with all the things.

But instead, it’s noon and I’m still in my pyjamas. I got up at 10 a.m. I have zero intentions of riding, swimming, or really doing much.

I want to ride. I want to swim. I want to do everything. But some days I just can’t.

Is it burnout? Is it pandemic fatigue? Is it the fatigue of living with a chronic illness? Is it because the last few days I feel like I’ve been digesting knives? Is it because it got freaking hot really fast? Is it because of the hot flashes and perimenopause?

I don’t know what it is (probably all of the above and more)… What matters is the listening and reminding myself that it’s okay not to do it.