Lately this blog has been a bit gushy and rather happy. This is a good thing. The thing is, it has taken me a long time but I’m really finally getting it. Appreciate what is in front of you. Don’t wish for something you can’t have. Take what you have with gratitude and make the most of it.

This really struck home to me last Sunday in Cornwall. More than one person said this to me, “It is great to see you out on the bike again” and “It must feel so good just to be racing again”. Yes, yes it is. I’m loving the racing this year. I really appreciate every pedal stroke. Every race is like a gift (yes it sounds cheesy – but if you’ve had something you love taken away from you – then you’ll understand).

After the race I was talking to a friend of mine who has also gone through illness and not been able to race and train. She hit it on the head when she said “It must just feel so good just to be out there”. It does. It feels really good.

I thought I’d be on the sidelines watching this season. Instead I’m doing it. Cool. I don’t worry about my race result. I only want to have a good hard ride – go as hard as I can and ride as smartly as I can.

I’m looking forward to the last few races of the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series. Once the snow starts flying I’ll be out at the Atlas Mad Trapper Snowshoe Series and I’ll be huffing and puffing up the hills of the Gatineau Park on my skinny skate skis. This will be my first winter in Ottawa in five years – I’m looking forward to it.

Thanks to Steve Morris for the photo.

This past weekend around 200 cyclocross racers arrived in Cornwall for a fun day of racing and hanging out. We were treated to a dry day (stark contrast to the weather in Ottawa) and quite warm temperatures – perfect for the racers, organizers and other volunteers.

I think one of the best aspects I took away from the race this past Sunday in Cornwall is the camaraderie I see developing amongst everyone. Regardless of the category, racers are helping each other out during the pre-rides – looking at good lines, providing advice on how to tackle tricky corners and of course providing a little bit of competitive taunting. During the race, there are so many people watching and cheering us on – friends, family members and folks who either raced earlier or are racing later. Those cheers go a long way when it feels like your lungs are going to come out of your mouth and your legs are screaming at you to ease off on the pedals. After the race, it is so great to hang out with one another and relive the race. This likely only happens after the women’s race but – we are all congratulating one another on our respective races and hugs are even exchanged with those who we have raced with. Once all the races are over, it is very encouraging to see people out taking down the course – making the day so much easier for the volunteer organizers.

Yes, suffice it to say, I think we’ve got something really special here with the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series. A real community has developed and I think it will only continue to grow – especially with the number of kids and entire families coming out to race.

As far as my race? Well, I had a blast. I spent the race chasing Jen and trying not to let her get too far ahead of me on the run-ups. (Must remember to work on my uphill running…) It was a really challenging day out there on a course that did not have many opportunities to recover and lots of sections where we could really open up the legs. A sign that it was a good day on the bike – I was in bed by 8:30!

I won’t be out at the race this weekend in Renfrew but I’ll be out the following weekend in Almonte. It has been a very long time since I’ve raced in Almonte. I really hope the hills have flattened out… Best of luck to everyone racing this weekend – remember to keep pedaling (yes, even the corners) and to look ahead – the bike will go where you’re looking. But most of all – have fun and remember to smile!

On Monday I was chilling out on my yoga mat before class when a lady came up to me and asked “Are you the cyclist? How did it go?”. I realized that she thought I hadn’t been around the yoga studio since April because I was away racing… So I told her that I hadn’t been racing – that my race season really started in September but I’ve been sick and can’t race right now. I did my best to sound positive about everything – even while explaining ulcerative colitis. This lady listened closely to everything I said and responded with “Hmm, so I guess you’re very sad. But there are others thing you can do – like inspire others.” I think I instantly blushed and smiled.

Normally, I don’t want to talk to anyone before yoga class – I like to chill out and slow my brain down before the yoga session starts. But on this day, this conversation was spot on.

I realized that I have been sad. And I have been angry. I haven’t been dealing with the emotions very well. I’ve tried to ignore them. I’ve tried to mask them. I’ve taken my anger and sadness out on those (primarily Marc) around me.

It has taken time but I realize that I have nothing to feel sad or angry about. I am still racing – it is simply not the racing I had “planned” on doing. Wishing or obsessing about the races that I “should” be doing takes away from what I’m doing now. This past Sunday during the drive to Logosland for my race, all I could do was think about my friends who had just finished racing at the Tabor World Cup. I was obsessively checking Twitter for results and feeling kind of rotten. Not good.

I’m working hard on appreciating the here and now. I get to race my bike every Sunday with a very friendly and competitive group of women. I get to watch young kids race their bikes and listen to them talk about the races afterwards. I get to watch Marc race and cheer him on (something I don’t normally get to do). I get to hang out and enjoy the cyclocross scene and I don’t need to worry about a recovery ride, protein drinks, and my upcoming race/travel schedule. I’m having fun and enjoying the bike for what it is.

In between all this I’m doing some running (darn ITB pain…), thinking about skate skiing, getting back into a regular yoga practice, reading a lot, relaxing at home and doing things I haven’t been able to do in a long while. There is no time or reason to feel sad or angry – I’ve got a lot of good stuff going on.

I’m still the cyclist. Just not the cyclist I was before. I’m a different cyclist right now. And this is perfectly alright.

I’d never been to Logosland in Cobden before. In fact most of the communities which we’ve been visiting these past Sundays for the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series are new to me. Even though I’ve lived in Ottawa since 1990 I really don’t have a sense for the surrounding communities.

Naturally I was curious about Logosland… The name doesn’t tell you much but lets just say this large piece of property has everything – a restaurant built into a boat, water slides, walking/running trails, time shares, and a lot more that I likely didn’t get to see.

But best of all – it is a great place to hold a cyclocross race. Thanks to the very generous terrain that gave the organizers lots of room to be creative with we raced on definitely the longest cyclocross race course I’ve ever ridden – 6 kilometers of cyclocross fun. Yes, 6 kilometers… that was a long lap!

But it was a lap jam-packed with lots of action – two steep run/ride-ups, a small sand pit, a short patch of beach riding, fun twists and turns in the woods, fast descents, steep descents, and long grinding climbs. All in all, it was a cyclocross that had something for every type of rider regardless of skill level and fitness.

Sunday was a fantastic day for a cyclocross race – warmish and breezy – perfect skinsuit weather (mind you, we’ll be riding around in skinsuits when it is pouring rain and hovering above freezing…).

The race? Well, it was good. A mediocore start had me chasing from the beginning. After some time I was able to pass a good chunk of women and I had my sights on the trio of Cyclery riders just in front of me. I was being careful at moderating my energy – during my last race I went too hard early on and faded very badly on the last lap. At the start of the second lap I was pretty sure I would catch the trio – but then I made a mistake… I overshot a corner, got hooked up in the course tape and lost time and positions getting unwrapped… Sigh. Well, I put my head down and got busy trying to play the “chase, catch and pass” game – this ended up being a lot fun. Three of us ended up trading positions numerous times and it was fun to see how far I could deep.

I’ve noticed that this year my barrier technique is a bit lacking. Goes to show that practice really does lead to improvement. Normally I start practicing barrier dismounts/mounts and other “key” cyclocross skills in the spring and continue this through-out the season. Well, this year I haven’t been doing this and it shows… So one of my goals for this race was to try to improve my dismounts each time I came to a set of barriers. My other goal was to ride as “cleanly” as possibly – in other words to stay off my brakes as much as I could and to minimize mistakes.

I think both goals were achieved… There were times when I struggled but this is what makes goals so worthwhile – they are not easy to achieve but are achievable.

Many thanks to the organizers for another great Sunday spent outside riding around on bikes like little kids. Also big thanks to those who came out early to setup the course and to those who stayed afterwards to tear down the course. Another big thanks to the folks who were out cheering and snapping photos. Last but not least – a huge thanks to the massive number of women who came out to race on Sunday – it is super encouraging to see so many women coming out to race cyclocross – some who are seasoned racers, some who are new to racing, some who are doing it for the first time, and some who I’m sure will go on to race on the World Cup circuit…

Yes, lots of fun was had at Logosland in Cobden. Six kilometers of fun!

Gosh, I sure wish I was in Tabor, the Czech Republic right now. So many of my friends are there getting ready to race the first World Cup of the season on Sunday. Normally, I’d be there.

I haven’t really missed much this year – but now I’m really missing being in Tabor. Great city. Great race course. Great country. Traveling to a World Cup is more than about the race itself (sure the race is the priority) but there is everything else that comes with it: exploring a new country, reconnecting with friends, meeting new people, escaping from the same old training routes, and getting to race with some darn fast women.

I raced my first World Cup in Treviso, Italy in 2009. I flew to Venice, picked up a rental car and somehow found my hotel without a GPS. My friends were shocked I traveled to a World Cup alone – but I really had no choice. I wanted to race so I got on the plane and did it. I was very lucky to have the help of Christine and Jonas – we stayed at the same hotel, I trained with them and Jonas rescued me when I flatted moments before the race started. It was also in Treviso where I met my good friend Nikoline Hansen.

Last year, Nikoline and I had a great time in the Czech Republic. We explored Plzen and shared many laughs. I also got to spend lots of time with my super friends Nancy and Andy. Experiences and times I won’t forget. (Sounds cheesy but it is true.) I’ve made some lifelong friends all thanks to these World Cups and traveling with others. Of course, I can’t forget the training and touring I did with Gabby and Gregg in Plzen and Prague.

I’ve raced in Tabor twice: the first was at the 2010 World Cyclocross Championships and the second was last year at the World Cup. Two of my best days on the bike. Days that are imprinted on my brain. Good times indeed.

Well, this year I won’t be there – instead I’ll be cheering from afar and looking forward to hearing all about it from my pals. I’ll be racing on Sunday in Cobden, Ontario as part of the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series. Kind of fitting really – I started racing in this series and if it wasn’t for this volunteer-run cyclocross series of over 20 years, I would never have lined up at that first World Cup in Treviso or have met the great people that I have.

Wherever you’re racing on Sunday – pedal hard, smile often, take it all in and enjoy it.