It is the Thursday before the Canadian Cyclo-Cross National Championships. In years past I’ve been a bit stressed out at this point. Perhaps even basket case is the appropriate terminology. But not this year. Nope, I’ve grown a lot as a bike racer – both physically and mentally. I’ve got a new approach to racing now. I’ve learned the hard way that the crazy stress, nerves and anxiety doesn’t do anything to help me on race day. If anything, it hurts me.
So instead I’m sitting here looking out into our backyard and feeling a sense of inner calm. This might sound cheesy but it is the truth. I just got in from a great on-road/off-road ride. I hit up some of my new favorite trails by Cedarview Estates. Zipped along some tight and twisty trails, rode around the quarry where I discovered a police car, ambulance and police diving team (I don’t know what was going on), followed the bicycle path through Barrhaven and eventually made it home. A great ride with a light rain and a bit of the fall chill in the air.
I didn’t think about the race or how I wanted the race to play out. I just thought about pedaling, looking ahead and on going faster. This is what I’ll think about on Saturday as well. Pedal. Look up. Go Faster. This is all I can do. I’ve learned that there is no point in worrying about things I can’t control. This is why I try not to look at start lists. I don’t look at long-range weather forecasts. I just deal with it on the day. Train. Rest. Recover. Relax. And everything else will fall into place.
Health-wise I’m still stuck. I’m thankful to be in an ulcerative colitis remission (knock on wood) but now I’m dealing with the side effects of ulcerative colitis. For me, this is a malabsorption issue. My body just can’t absorb vitamins and minerals like someone with a normal digestion system can. This means that my ferritin (iron) and most vitamin/mineral levels are very low. It also means my white blood cell count is high and my red blood cell count is low. Not good for anyone. Really not good for an athlete. All I can do though is work hard at getting better. I’m taking a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals, I’ve had four iron infusions and will get more as soon as I can. I’m focusing on rest and quality training. I’m paying attention to my diet and trying to eat as many high iron foods as possible (whole baby clams are super high in iron). Most of all, I’m not letting this get me down. I could be worse off – I could be in the hospital or also dealing with a full blown ulcerative colitis flare again. So for now, I’ll take what I’ve been handed and make the best of it.
There really is no other choice. I’m not canceling my plans. I’m not stopping training and racing. (Yes, I’ve talked to my coach and doctors – the training and racing is not making it harder for my body to heal.) I’ve got to keep chasing my goals and dreams. Slow and steady just may be the theme for this year.
Alright, enough of this deep talk. For a change of pace, I suggest you click on over to the Race Reports page and read about Timothy Austen’s race experience at the Kanata Ottawa Bicycle Club race on Sunday. Timothy is the future of our sport – fast, young, eager and always full of questions about how to become a better racer. He’s got some great genes to back him up (not to mention some super long legs) and a great support network. Thanks Timothy for the race report.