Just wanted to let you all know that I’m still here. I’ve taken a few days away from this site because I’ve been pretty focused on resting and recovering. And to tell the truth, I really don’t have a lot to say right now. I haven’t ridden my bike in over a week and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to ride it again. I really wish I could tell you about my latest training rides and preparation for upcoming races – but unfortunately this is not where I am right now.
Nope, instead I’m focused on getting healthy. 100 per cent healthy. This is different from the level of “health” I was in at the start of this cyclo-cross season. I now realize that I wasn’t healthy. I wanted to be healthy. I told myself I was healthy. But I wasn’t. I was fighting my body each and every time I got on the bike. Finally and ultimately, my body won. So now here I am sitting, resting, sleeping, waiting, hoping that I will get better.
So what am I doing to get better? Well I’m not riding. I’m not racing. I’ve switched to a gluten and dairy free diet. I’m taking some new medications. I’m trying to eat – this is hard because I really don’t have an appetite and food often makes me feel worse. I’m researching and reading – currently learning about veganism and Brendan Brazier’s Thrive Diet. I’m working hard to stay in a positive mental head space. I’m sleeping as much as my body wants.
Is it working? Hard to know. This type of healing takes time and patience. So this is what I’ll focus on – giving my body all the time it needs to heal and be ready for next season. I’m working hard at being patient with my body – it is very hard to not be frustrated with what I see as a “faulty” body – but it is the only one I have so I must do my best to give it time to heal. Time and patience.
I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be back next season ripping it up on the cyclo-cross bike zipping around the course in my red,white and black kit. Next year is going to be a good one. I can’t wait to get back out training with the “kids”, with Mr. Timbo Schleck Austen and to hold more cyclo-cross practice sessions (these benefit me as much as you). Until then – I wait and I get better.
As I write this I’m listening to the 2010 cyclo-cross season warm-up playlist that I created at the start of this season. I listen to this before and after every cyclo-cross race. Right now it is reminding me of how much I miss being out there with you guys racing my bike.