I’ve got butterflies in my belly and every time I think about registering for this Sunday’s race, my heart beats a bit faster. Yes, I have a good ‘ol suitcase of nerves right now. It feels like a very long time since I’ve raced on the road and I’m feeling a tad nervous and actually downright afraid of it all.

I’m not sure where and why these nerves are showing up. I know that they’re not rational and thanks to the Chimp Paradox by Dr. Steve Peters I understand that I should be able to control these feelings. But right now I simply can’t. I have the registration page for the Clarence-Rockland Classic this Sunday open in my browser but I just haven’t clicked submit yet…

My head is full of what ifs. What if I’m not ready to race (it is the first race – I’m as ready as I’ll be)? What if I get a cold (Marc currently has one)? What if the weather is terrible (oh right – the worse the weather the better for me)? What if I can’t do it (of course I can do it)?

That’s right – not altogether rational. But a suitcase of nerves normally isn’t rational. I know it is ridiculous to be nervous on Tuesday when the race isn’t until Sunday… Some say these nerves are a good thing because it shows I care about the race and I want to do well.

I’m nervous about the gravel roads. I’m nervous about the race format. I’m nervous about my fitness. I’m nervous about getting dropped and having to ride the race alone. I’m nervous.