A Suitcase of Nerves

I’ve got butterflies in my belly and every time I think about registering for this Sunday’s race, my heart beats a bit faster. Yes, I have a good ‘ol suitcase of nerves right now. It feels like a very long time since I’ve raced on the road and I’m feeling a tad nervous and actually downright afraid of it all.

I’m not sure where and why these nerves are showing up. I know that they’re not rational and thanks to the Chimp Paradox by Dr. Steve Peters I understand that I should be able to control these feelings. But right now I simply can’t. I have the registration page for the Clarence-Rockland Classic this Sunday open in my browser but I just haven’t clicked submit yet…

My head is full of what ifs. What if I’m not ready to race (it is the first race – I’m as ready as I’ll be)? What if I get a cold (Marc currently has one)? What if the weather is terrible (oh right – the worse the weather the better for me)? What if I can’t do it (of course I can do it)?

That’s right – not altogether rational. But a suitcase of nerves normally isn’t rational. I know it is ridiculous to be nervous on Tuesday when the race isn’t until Sunday… Some say these nerves are a good thing because it shows I care about the race and I want to do well.

I’m nervous about the gravel roads. I’m nervous about the race format. I’m nervous about my fitness. I’m nervous about getting dropped and having to ride the race alone. I’m nervous.

13 thoughts on “A Suitcase of Nerves

  1. Hit that submit button. It’s April. You have been training. You KNOW you can do this. So what if the weather is bad? So what if you end up dropped and riding alone (which, BTW, won’t happen)? So what? Is it the end of the world? No – there will be another race on another day. Go out. Ride your bike. Have fun. That’s what it’s about.

    (signed – she who is racing Battenkill on Saturday :))

    • Cathy, after reading your blog post about Battenkill I’m feeling rather soft. I know what you’re saying. Just letting my irrational brain take over instead of listening to common sense!
      Thanks for the sensible words.

      • You’ve given me lots of inspiration over the past couple of years. You love to ride, this I know – go and do it!

    • Thanks Robyn! Nice to know that you’re going back to do the race a second time. Those darn hills….

    • Ah Jennie – you’re so right. What if I win the damn thing? 🙂 I should remember what it felt like last year when I was too sick to even consider riding my bike. 2012 is after all the “year of doing everything”!
      By the way, we still need to get together for a ride.

    • Rebecca, you are on the money here. I know that if I don’t do it I will regret it and likely spend the day moping and sulking… You know me well! Are you doing Battenkill on Sunday?

  2. It is not a race. It is a large group ride 🙂
    And if you get dropped you can slow down and ride with me 🙂


    p.s. see ya there ! ! !

    • Paul – I highly doubt I’d have to slow down to ride with you! At least we could remind each other to eat during the ride/race. Good point on it not really being a race. I suppose it is a race for the super fast guys. And yes – I’ll see you there!

  3. Remember in the book if you give 100% effort then your chimp can more easily live with the result whatever it is. You have to believe that because what else can you do. Also in a week were willow rockwell retires… What else needs to be said. (Read her blog if you haven’t already).

    • Thanks Kira for reminding of this key message about the chimp. Also huge thanks for pointing me to Willow’s blog. I just read her post – you’re not much to be said. This was the first blog post of Willow’s that I’ve read and now I feel I’ll need to read her other posts. Not only a fast woman but a wise woman. I’m curious about her book as well.

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