At A Loss

This is a struggle for me to write. In fact this is a struggle for me to think about. I’ve found the best way to cope over the last few days has been to push it to the back of my brain and ignore it. But I can’t hide from this from much longer.

I’m sick again. I’m in an ulcerative colitis flare. It has been getting worse. My energy levels are dropping off. I’m tired. I don’t feel well.

I’ve stopped training. I don’t know if I’ll race again.

I’m riding my bike to and from work when I feel energized enough for the 22 km trip each way. I’m getting out on my BMX bike when I can (it makes me tired but it does put a smile on my face).

I really don’t know what to say. I feel sad.