I’ve had a week or so to let the reality set in. I’m sick and there is not much I can do about it. It is my reality right now. I hate it. But it can be and has been worse. I’ve tried the “resting” thing… I’m not very good at it, nor do I think it really helps me. For me an idle body is a very active mind that churns away thinking of all things I’m not doing and can’t do.
Well, I’m done with this. Don’t worry, I’m not about to go out and run for three hours (though I’d like to) or do a five hour epic on the bike (though I’d like to). No, instead I’m going to move and get out when I can and want. On Saturday I went for nice easy 63 km – it felt great to be out pedaling. I didn’t worry about my wattage, speed, pace, etc. I just pedaled. I listened to podcasts, drank water and let it all go. Definitely the type of medicine and therapy I need right now.
Today I didn’t do much, an easy yoga routine at home and then I spent the afternoon hanging out with friends and cheering on Marc and his team at the Preston St. bike race. I have to tell you that those four hours of being outside talking to people, cheering on the big and little kids and just being and doing were so very awesome. So much better for my progress than any drug, rest, or diet modification. Just seeing and being around people who are happy, uplifting and seizing the day, makes a big impact on my mental and physical self.
This is the perspective that I needed. Yes, I’m sick. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I hate it. But you know what, I can handle it. And thanks to all of you for the supportive words, the hugs, the patience when I’ve been less than fun to be around and for being understanding.
Thanks for the inspiration – and for reminding me that this will be okay.