Decisions

Earlier in the week I said to Marc, “why don’t I just get it cut out?”.

On Thursday I asked my gastro doctor’s resident the same thing “why can’t you just cut it out?”.

It being my colon.

I learned on Thursday from my gastro doctor that if I really do want “it cut out”, I can have this done. He then went on to tell me that I have one other drug option left – a drug that was only recently approved by Health Canada.

So there are two treatment options left: have my colon removed or try the new drug.

It’s was a tough decision to make sitting in a small consulting room with a resident, second-year medical student and my gastro doctor siting there. My eyes were bleary and I felt like my heart was pounding so loudly that everyone could hear it.

I asked a lot of questions. I asked my gastro doctor what he would do.

And here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to try the new drug. We’ll know within three months if it’s going to work. If it works, there are no guarantees on how long it will work. If it doesn’t work, I’ll have the surgery.

The last few days have been a bit scattered and confusing. It’s one thing for me to say angrily to Marc and others “just cut it out” but quite another to hear this from my doctor.

So this is where I am.