It’s not often I cry in my car while listening to my favourite song. I should have expected this to happen. After all, I had felt my heart pounding in my chest from the minute I woke up.

I told myself it was just “swimming” and there was no reason to be anxious or worked up. But sometimes I’m stubborn and refuse to listen to common sense.

So when My Body by Young The Giant started playing, it hit me in all the spots and I started crying. And like magic, once the song was over, I was a-okay.

One small panic attack in the car. Not bad. I take that as a win. Why all the tears and stress? I was on my way to the Nepean Sportsplex for the Nepean Masters Swim Club Red vs. Blue Swim Meet. (And I have a tendency to get a bit anxious and stressed before sporting events.)

This is a fun and very welcoming swim meet. No medals. No podiums. No prizes. Just bragging rights for the team that wins. Blue won – I was on team blue…

But this meet isn’t about winning.

It’s about all the other stuff that makes sport so special: camaraderie, inspiration, empowerment, fun, accomplishment, and motivation.

It was pretty cool to see and hear people cheering each other on and to listen to the conversations people were having. As I sat in the stands between my events I heard a lot of “great job – you looked smooth” or “you really have improved your technique” or “well done – what’s your next event?”.

The cool thing about a swim meet is you pay one fee and can sign up for as many races as you want. (Okay, at least this is how it’s been at the two meets I’ve done. I think there is a maximum number of events – but this is just a small detail. The point being – it’s like a swimmer’s buffet – swim as much as you can or want to.)

I swam in the 100 meter and 50 meter events for freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke and I swam the 50 meter backstroke leg of the IM medley relay.

This was a lot. I didn’t have much rest between events. But this also made it a lot of fun. There was never any time to get bored or to dwell on one swim result.

I had zero expectations for the breaststroke and backstroke events – I didn’t even know my predicted times. So there was zero pressure. I just got in the water and swam as hard as I could.

I did have one major goal – don’t get disqualified for messing up the start or the turns. And success – I made it – goal accomplished – no disqualifications.

I took a look at my results this morning. Yep, I’m happy with them. The freestyle times were slower than I would have liked. But oh well. Three weeks ago my back was so sore I could barely walk. So I’m just happy to have been able to swim.

But here’s the thing, the times don’t even really matter. The best part about this meet was how it made me feel.

I felt proud. I’m proud of myself for doing it. It’s not an easy thing to do. And I could have so easily talked myself out of doing it. But I didn’t. I did it. It was everything I needed.

I needed to see and feel the empowering vibes of that swim meet. I needed to see people going for it. It really is so special to experience sport this way – everyone is welcome, regardless of age, experience, or ability. Just come out, put on your suit and goggles, get in the water, swim back and forth.

I can’t wait for the Winterlude meet in February. I’m already thinking about what events I want to do.

This is a video of me swimming the 100 meter breaststroke. I’m the person who didn’t dive off the blocks – I started in the water. One day I’ll be diving off the blocks.