Really feeling like a biker. My legs know what to do. My head stays clear. No crazy brain happening. Focused on the ride and the goals from the ride. Taking it all in. Listening to my breath. Feeling my legs. That sweet dull ache. The explosion in the pedals when I push hard.

The wheels roll along. Reminding me of how much living there is to be done. The bike this week is taking me places I’ve never been before. I’m just really feeling it. Things are coming together. I’ve had a good few weeks here. Some ups and downs. I’ve got a big week coming up. A couple of big races on the schedule. But I’m ready for it. The sensations are spot on.

I’m recovering well between rides. I want to do more. But I hold back – need to stick to the plan. The ‘cross skills are coming. Slowly but surely. Progress is happening. Snap is coming to my legs. I’m learning how to use my body more effectively. There is no room for negativity in my head space. There is no shoulda, coulda, or woulda. I’ve only got: gonna, can, and did it. The way it should be.

Funny how it takes so long to get to this point. More to the point, I’m fully confident that there is definitely more to come. More of this. More of that. This is what makes the crazy game of bikin’ so much fun. So important to my daily breathe. I do a lot of learning and growing on my bike. Super lucky to have this. My only hope is that you have this as well.

Today was a training day that I’ve been looking forward to all week. It was the much anticipated double day. Double as in two rides in one day. Cool. Felt like a real bike racer today. Getting out on the bike for two training rides.

Kicked off the day with an action-packed two hour ride. After a cozy 20 minute endurance warm-up, followed by 2 x 5 minute x 5 minute recovery tempo intervals, then the fun stuff – 4 x 45 second standing starts in my hardest gear, then to wrap things up 6 x 5 minute x 1 minute recovery tempo intervals. Like I said – action packed. A very satisfying ride on so many levels. The tempo intervals are just hard enough to get the blood flowing and a dull ache in the legs. The start intervals – well they are damn hard but uber-satisfying. Then to round out the ride with another batch of tempo riding makes me feel super strong. An excellent ride for the body and the brain.

Got home and chilled out for a couple of hours. Little walk to the bakery for a fresh loaf of bread. Tried a new one today – Toscans – it is super tasty. Nice little lunch and chat with Marc. The time difference can be a bit of a hassle for communication but it is nice to break up the afternoon with a chat with my favorite guy.

Then time for the second ride of the day. This one was all about ‘cross riding. I ended up going to Tessenderlo because the course for this Sunday’s race is set up already. Decided it was the perfect opportunity to work on different ‘cross riding skills. The plan for this ride was to section the course and then repeatedly drill the trick/challenging/key sections until I was better and faster with them. This course has a bunch of sand in it – climbs, descents, and a flat section. So these were the parts that I broke down and worked on. It is super awesome for the confidence to see the improvement after working on the sections repeatedly. Doing this kind of training alone is not ideal, but I made the best of it. Gave me a chance to try different lines, approaches, exits, gears, etc. Had fun playing and learning on the ‘cross bike for a solid 90 minutes.

Now I’m home just chilling out. Hung out with Jos and we caught up on each other’s days and dramas. Great talk with Marc and now I’m just winding down. Tomorrow is a lighter day with just a 2.5 hour road ride. I’ve got a few errands to do though to get ready for Koksijde – need to pick up a couple of new chains and do a bit of work on my bikes. So it will be a jam-packed day. Just the way I like it.

Looking forward to racing this weekend. I hope I can hold off the super-fast junior boys…

I’ve had a good couple of days of training and some excellent talks with people about my racing so far. I’ve gotten a lot of good advice on what to do and not do. Most importantly, I’ve been reminded of the progress I’ve made. It is sometimes easy in the shuffle of race results to remember what things were like a year ago. Luckily for me I’ve made a lot of gains in a year. Fitness gains. Technical gains. And I think really most significantly, mental gains.

Yes, that almighty mental game is super key. Especially for me right now. It would be easy to drag myself down into a pit of despair and self-pity. That happened last year. (Twice) But it is not happening this year. Last year tough races and results, served to only make me fear my bike and each upcoming race. Not this year. Not even close. On the contrary, my race experiences this year have made me embrace my bike and racing even more. I want to be out on my bike right now – riding in the mud, tackling the sand, descending something crazy.

I’m not sure how this shift happened. I can’t question it. I can only be thankful for it and stay positive. There is no room for the negative in my season. I realized that some might have my read my posts on Sunday and interpreted them as my feeling a bit down. Nope. Fired up was and is how I’m feeling. I just want to get out there and get better.

These last two days have been so good for this. I had a super awesome ride on Monday. Got out for close to three hours with some really challenging start intervals thrown into the mix. Let me tell you – 45 seconds when you’re standing sprinting out of the saddle in your hardest gear, is a really really long time. I loved them. And good news is, I get to do them again tomorrow. The interesting thing about these intervals is that they really taught me that I’m not going hard enough in the start. I guess I really wasn’t sure how the start should feel. Apparently it is supposed to feel like these intervals. Perfect. Now I know. Today I got out for a ninety minute recovery ride. Initially, I thought 90 minutes didn’t seem like much. But let me tell you – my body needed a short easy recovery ride. Didn’t realize I was tired until I started pedaling!

I had a great talk with a new ally here in Belgium who is proving to be super helpful in my quest to get some technical training. Also got the name of another rider who might be able to help out. Cool. All I can do is ask.

Did a little bit of bike work as well. Well, bike work might be a stretch… I’ve been riding and racing with some old Look egg beater pedals. These pedals are three years old… One pair finally quit after Sunday’s mud bath. So now I’ve got a new pair of Crank Brothers egg beaters on one bike. I was kind of impressed that I identified that the pedals were done and was then able to change them. I know – this is not major but it could lead to crazy instances of bike mechanics – before you know it I’ll be changing brake pads, replacing my bar tape, and taking off the stays…

On deck Wednesday is a super day of training. It is a double day. Yes! It is going to be a good one. Long ride in the morning with the infamous start intervals. Home for a bit of a rest. Then out to the nature preserve in Averbode for some ‘cross riding. I’m going to set up my own little course and then section it – working on the various parts – steadily getting faster and more confident. Cool.

I’ve got two races on the schedule this weekend. It will be my first trip to Holland of the season on Sunday. Off to Den Hagg for a race. Den Hagg is just outside Rotterdam. My only memory of Rotterdam is from the summer of 2007 – my first criterium racing experience in Holland – the GPS stopped working and then I discovered a massive traffic circle in Rotterdam with what felt like 15 exits! Anyway, I’m looking forward to racing this weekend. More opportunities to practice and improve.

Now for your viewing pleasure, I’ve got some photos from Balint Hamvas of http://cyclephotos.co.uk. Balint took these pictures at the Nommay World Cup. Thanks Balint!

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would do anything to have it? This is where I’m at now. I just so desperately want to improve. I want to. I have to. I just feel like I’m on the cusp of that next level and I want to get better now.

If I could be out riding my bike eight hours a day, I would. If I knew that would make me better. If I could find that “magic” drill or training park that would just help push me along to the next level – to where I want be. If only…

This is how I’m feeling today. Perhaps it seems a bit desperate. But I’m so darn hungry for improvement. I’ve got damn strong legs. I’ve got a powerful set of lungs and heart. I just need my technical skills to catch up. I could get by okay at home in Canada and the U.S. with my legs, lungs and heart. But not here. Here watts don’t matter if you don’t have the skills. This is cold hard reality of the situation.

Don’t take this to read that I’m down on myself. On the contrary – I’m just so darn frustrated. I want to be better. I want to be able to descend the muddy slick descents with confidence. I want to always be pedaling – instead of thinking and stopping pedaling. I want to be more smooth and efficient in the mud. I want to be able to choose better race lines. I want to be able to get up the steep inclines. I want to float through the sand. I want it all.

Problem is, these things take time and patience. And they take outside help. To put it bluntly – I need someone to go riding with here in Belgium who can put me through my paces and teach me how to descend better, ride the mud better, ride sand better, choose better race lines and basically sharpen and improve all of my technical skills. If you are that person – email me! I want to learn so badly. I’ve got the lungs and legs – I just need the technical know how.

So you can probably guess I am less than satisfied with my race today. You are correct. This was the first “real” Belgian ‘cross course I’ve raced on this year. Muddy. Slippery. Twisty. Crazy descents. Technical climbs. A really good hard challenging course. It also did an excellent job of highlighting my technical problems. After the race, I received the following comment “Your fitness is very strong. Your technical skills need to improve. I see you hesitating on the descents and then stopping pedaling”. This is perfectly spot on. I’ve written a full race report over here – you can read more about the course and the race there.

But this being said, I did have a very good day. Great drive to the race with Jos. Super support from Jos all day – she was awesome in the pits, had fresh bikes for me when I pitted, cleaned both bikes after the race, power washed my legs and shoes, wiped down the bikes and reminded me to get changed. Couldn’t have done the race without Jos. As a treat we stopped at a bakery on the way home. Jos got a tasty frangipan tart and I got an underwhelming raisin croissant – so underwhelming I only took two bites! Quick and smooth drive home. Hung out with Tim and Jos for a bit and we watched the highlights from the women’s race. Then I was back home and spent two hours working on the bikes! Crazy but I just wanted to make sure everything was as clean as it could be.

Chilled out evening. Had a good long chat with Skip of KingsBridge today. Go check out the KingsBridge web site and learn more about one of the key sponsors of Ottawa Cross.

Just talked to Marc. He had another tough slog in the New Jersey mud. Sounds like it was an epic weekend down at the Mercer Cup. Gotta tell you – I don’t miss that race! It was great to talk to Marc about his race and then for him to give me some sound advice about my racing and training. Really without Marc, none of this would be possible. I would have cracked long ago. He is super supportive of my cyclo-cross racing and really puts himself second so that I can do what I want. This just makes me want to get better so much more. I want to be able to call him and tell him about my breakthrough race and excellent result…

I’m finally in the full-on bike racer groove. It has taken me a bit to get used to having all this time on my hands. This is the first time that I haven’t juggled working along with racing and training. Strange, this time thing is hard to get used to. Initially I was tempted to “do” and then “do some more”. This was not working. On top of getting used to life here and life without Marc, this do more attitude and a couple of big races resulted in stress and a bit of fatigue.

I have finally seen the light. The less is more mantra is now ringing true. I’m taking deep breathes. Throwing away to do lists. Just taking each day as it comes. Sure I have things I want to get done. But now I’m recognizing that I don’t need to cram my days with stuff. What I need to do is get in quality training. And take the rest of the day to reap the benefits from this training. This means taking naps in the afternoon, staying off my legs, and ensuring my nutrition and stretching is top-notch.

I’ve also learned that I need to set aside time to work on my bikes. Work might be a slight exaggeration of what I’m doing to my bikes. Perhaps intensive cleaning would be more apt. Anyway, whatever you call it, it takes time to look after and maintain two cyclo-cross bikes. Since I’m not an expert at this component of the bike racer life, it does take me a bit longer to get things done. But so far so good. As it stands right now, I’ve got two sparkling clean Stevens Super-Prestige bikes in the garage. All my tires and wheels are clean. The chains are nice and shiny.

Today was about recovery on the bike. I was supposed to do a recovery ride yesterday. But exuberance got the better of me and I went out and had a not-quite-recovery ride in the nature preserve close to my house. My coach caught this and reminded me of the importance of rest. It is so hard for me to spend time on recovery because I just want to be out there practicing my skills, working on my starts, and getting more comfortable riding in the mud and sand. But lucky for me I have coach Steve… Without him, I’d be out there drilling it day in an day out. This is so tempting, especially when I have the time. But I know deep down that I need to rest and recover. And this does not mean start intervals and hard slogs through the mud.

So today’s ride was rather pleasant. I explored some new roads and pedaled down some old favorites. I love going out for a ride with the following ride plan: pedal along, take the next left, pedal along, take the next right, pedal along, hmm – I’m lost, now try and find my way home. This is what I typically do when I don’t have set intervals to do during my ride. Some may find this stressful – not knowing where you are. But for me it is part of the adventure. When in doubt, I ride towards the church steeple. This inevitably leads to the center of the town. From there I can guess and find my way home (mostly).

I have decided not to race tomorrow. I really wanted to. But I had to weigh the pros and cons of racing on Saturday. The race is not close (but not far by North American standards). But it is really more the pre-race and post-race work that I worry will cause me to fatigue. I want to be fresh for Asper-Gavere on Sunday. I also had to remember that I raced on Wednesday. It is hard to remember that I don’t have to do every race there is. I’ve got a big schedule ahead of me, so missing a race with the junior boys is not a big deal. Mind you I really like the vibe of the Vlaamse Cyclo-Cross Cup. But hopefully I’ll get out to a couple of these races later in the season (in fact I do have one definitely planned for next weekend).

I best be off. I’ve got a nice hot mug of honey tea waiting for me… Happy Friday. Best of luck to Marc racing at the Mercer Cup this weekend. Best of luck to the Fearless Leader this weekend at the Ontario Provincials. I’ll be cheering for you guys. I miss standing in the pits and cheering you on and then hanging out after the races and rehashing the 40 minute races for what seems like hours! Couldn’t do this without you guys.

(Totally forgot – go check out my latest online column at Cyclocross Magazine!)