This past week in Ottawa has been wet. We started on Monday with snow. Not good. Luckily the snow is gone but we’re still facing many wet days ahead. And in fact in taking a peak at the long term weather forecast we have some cold days ahead of us. Not the weather that favours spending hours outside sitting on a narrow saddle and stomping away on the pedals.

Today I started my day with a rather frosty commute into work. (Yes, I have a full-time technical writing contract right now. So I’m learning to balance/juggle 40 hours of work a week with my training…) It was below zero when I left this morning and to tell you the truth – I didn’t mind. The sky was a brilliant blue. The air had a fresh crisp bite to it. I was outside riding along empty bicycle paths and pretty much car-free roads. Sure I had a few moments of feeling cold but these were barely a concern when I looked at the folks sitting in their cars looking a bit disgruntled and cranky.

I was hoping for a dry ride home since I had a good hard work-out ahead of me. No such luck. For the second day in a row I spent two hours in the pouring rain. It is easy to get grumpy about training in such weather and I’m sure there are some who chose not to ride when it rains. Admittedly I had a couple moments of thinking about how much I disliked the rain.

But then my good friend “perspective” appeared. I thought of Marc who couldn’t train for two weeks due to a case of walking pneumonia. I though of my friend Rob who is injured and can’t ride. I thought of my friend Howard who is dealing with a rotten ulcerative colitis flare and can’t ride. I thought of the days when I’ve been stuck indoors due to ulcerative colitis and other injuries.

All of a sudden, the rain didn’t seem so bad. In fact I started to enjoy it. Once you’re wet – you’re wet. Might as well just ride hard to keep the body warm and appreciate being outside doing something pretty awesome.

I’ve come to appreciate my bike and the time I get to spend on it even more in the last two weeks. Working full-time is a big change (and one I’m happy to be doing) and it can be hard to balance a full-time job with a full-time training program. This makes the time I’m on my bike so much more important to me. Riding is not a “chore” or something “I have to do” instead it is something “I get to do”.

Amazing how and where we can find perspective. Rain. 40 hours a week. It is all good. Life is good. My thoughts are with my pals who are going through tough times right now. Sunny days are ahead.

It has taken me a few days to figure out what to write about the race this past weekend. This was my first road race in two years and I was full of nervous anticipation and a great deal of self doubt… This is completely normal and was actually very reassuring considering how I felt the week before at Clarence-Rockland. After that race, I was concerned that I had lost my competitive drive – but my nerves, crazy brain and butterflies in my stomach were all indicators that I still have that burning desire. (Yes, what a relief!)

I’ve written a race report over on the Race Reports page, so I’ll give you the abridged version here… The race course for the weekend was on the Calabogie race track – this course is very wide, has a few bumps that can be challenging when faced with stiff headwinds, the corners are lots of fun and if you can stay off the brakes the corners are super fun to ride at high speeds. Our race field was primarily dominated in numbers by two local teams. There were numerous attacks that went off but nothing stuck with these two teams chasing each other down. I gave a few digs here and there but wasn’t able to “jump” away – right now I’m pretty good at going hard in a straight line and I’m lacking any acceleration speed. I tried to use this strength to my advantage when and where I could. At one point two riders did get a decent gap but due to the strong headwinds, this move did not stick and on the last lap we were facing a bunch sprint. The Real Deal team out of Toronto played the race very smartly by sending a rider on the attack in the last lap – no one followed her (yes, I should have done this…) and in the end Real Deal took all three spots on the podium with the last two coming out of the bunch sprint. I finished 8th in the bunch sprint.

For a first race and for a first road race in two years – I’m content with the day. I did a few things well. I need to fix a few other things. And most importantly I realized that I need to learn how to adapt during the race and learn how to race with the tools I have. I lack real acceleration right now but this shouldn’t have been a been a real limiter. It was super nice to be out on the road again and being in the racing action again. I’m happy that I felt comfortable in the race and I’m looking forward to more races ahead.

As I was sitting here eating my morning oatmeal and listening to CBC Radio I realized how very relaxed I feel this morning. This reminded me of my much earlier racing days back in the mid-90s when I was so nervous on the morning of a race, I could barely eat anything. I remember Marc trying to convince me to just eat one bagel. Now, many years later, I feel much less stressed and anxious on race morning.

Yes of course I still have my neuroses on race day morning but they seem to appear in different ways…

On Saturday while Marc was trying to watch the hockey game, I insisted he review all the cycling gear I had spread out on the floor – was I missing anything? should I not take something? In fact I even listed off everything I was thinking of packing. Marc responded with “You have way too much stuff.” This sent a quiver of panic through my body – too much stuff? but what should I take out? In the end I crammed everything into my race bag… (except the Murphy and the full face helmet)

After the dust had settled on the “what to pack” dilemma, I then started to think about my pre-race warm-up. It has been two years since I’ve done a road race. I feel like I’ve never raced before… When it comes to cyclo-cross I know exactly what I’ll do on race day and how and when I’ll warm up for the race. But I really have no idea what to do for road races. So of course, Marc was peppered with more questions – how long should I warm up for? should I do openers? should I ride hard? easy? Finally Marc simply said “don’t worry about it. It’s a road race.”. Yikes – what does this mean?

Yes, so there is some nervous energy happening it is just manifesting itself differently than it did many years ago. I like to believe I’m less nervous now than when I was a young twenty-something – but honestly I’m not so sure. I’m guessing that I’ll chatter non-stop to Marc all the way to Calabogie and then try to make casual small talk on the start line as we wait for the gun to go off.

Yep, still nervous. Still excited. Still ready to race. All systems are go.

Well, as many of you know I registered for the Clarence-Rockland Classic with a stomach full of butterflies. Well, as the big day neared I actually became less nervous and was simply looking forward to getting out and riding a new-to-me event.

First off – a big thanks to the Ride With Rendall team and their crew of volunteers – the event was super well-organized and from my perspective went off without a hitch. There were two wheel trucks with a couple of very busy volunteers and the post-race food looked to be very good (I didn’t stay for the post-race meal – had to get home to Marc who has walking pneumonia…). Each and every corner was well marked and typically managed by at least three people – very impressive. The cheering from these folks helped a lot.

So, as for the race/ride? Well I was a bit nervous about an all-category event – it has been a long time since I’ve done this type of event. I was rather nervous about how fast the “fast” guys would go out and was pleased to still be with the group by the third gravel climb. But, this is where and when I realized that I’m not a fan of gravel… I quickly remembered how much I dislike turning on gravel roads (yes, poor bike handling skills) and unfortunately, I packed it in mentally. My legs were there – but my heart and spirit were not. I ended up simply riding the event – at times I rode with others and had some good conversations – many thanks to young Felix for the fast wheel on one of the paved sections. I was very happy to connect with my long-time friend Pierre at the end of the race and we rolled into together. Very nice to ride with Robyn and Tanya as well – some great company out there.

Am I disappointed? Not sure. I definitely didn’t have the competitive “spirit” that I usually have and I didn’t really have that “dig deep” attitude that helps me so much. I think really, it was simply a type of racing that is not for me. I’m happy I did it. It was great to connect with so many people and to chat with others. It was awesome to see the smiling faces and spirit of all the folks out for the day. I think I’ll stick to paved roads and cyclo-cross courses for a while though.

So thanks for the encouragement and convincing me to do the event. I’m happy I did it. Learned some valuable lessons that I’m sure I’ll be writing about in the days to come. I just registered for the Calabogie Classic and I’m looking forward to some road racing as well as a little bit of BMX action this summer.

I’ve got butterflies in my belly and every time I think about registering for this Sunday’s race, my heart beats a bit faster. Yes, I have a good ‘ol suitcase of nerves right now. It feels like a very long time since I’ve raced on the road and I’m feeling a tad nervous and actually downright afraid of it all.

I’m not sure where and why these nerves are showing up. I know that they’re not rational and thanks to the Chimp Paradox by Dr. Steve Peters I understand that I should be able to control these feelings. But right now I simply can’t. I have the registration page for the Clarence-Rockland Classic this Sunday open in my browser but I just haven’t clicked submit yet…

My head is full of what ifs. What if I’m not ready to race (it is the first race – I’m as ready as I’ll be)? What if I get a cold (Marc currently has one)? What if the weather is terrible (oh right – the worse the weather the better for me)? What if I can’t do it (of course I can do it)?

That’s right – not altogether rational. But a suitcase of nerves normally isn’t rational. I know it is ridiculous to be nervous on Tuesday when the race isn’t until Sunday… Some say these nerves are a good thing because it shows I care about the race and I want to do well.

I’m nervous about the gravel roads. I’m nervous about the race format. I’m nervous about my fitness. I’m nervous about getting dropped and having to ride the race alone. I’m nervous.