Don’t fear, I’m not going crazy… At least I don’t think I’m going crazy. Though I did have a couple of voices in my head today during my ride.

Last week I was very lucky to get out to train with our Belgian pal Rene. Rene has been racing cyclo-cross for 35 years and definitely has more than one trick up his sleeve. Our training sessions were not heavy on intensity, rather we focused on skills and making small adjustments that will gain me a second here, a couple of seconds there, and allow me to put out more power on the course. It is amazing how such small adjustments really can make a big difference over the course of a 40 or 60 minute race.

So what did Rene teach me? I’ve received a few emails, Tweets and comments asking me to spill the beans on the Belgian Tricks I learned. Well today was the real test of what I worked on with Rene – my first solo cyclo-cross training session. I’m happy to report that the lessons have stuck in my brain and I think I hit a few break-through moments out there on the bike today. All thanks to the voices in my head, reminding me to “play” with the bike, to steer with my knees, to only use the back brake and to use it sparringly, to practice my bent arm pump to get over steep inclines, to use my hips to get the bike moving through the sand, and when working on my uphill dismounts.

Yes, I learned a lot from Rene. Interestingly during today’s ride, I also heard Marc, Karl, Evan, Conor, Kris, Gabby, and Nikki while I was out training. It seems like all the tidbits I’ve collected over the years finally clicked and came together today. Reminding me to really sprint into steep inclines. To look forward and to keep pedaling. To let the bike flow through the off-cambers. To pick up the bike on the downtube rather than the toptube. To really sprint back onto the bike. To trust the ruts and let my tires roll through them. To get off my bike before it stops moving in the sand.

Yes, a lot was said and done during my ride today. At times I couldn’t hear the music being pumped into my ears thanks to my iPod do to the words of advice and encouragement. I consider this to be a very good thing. Yes, a good ride was had today. To top it off, I scared myself a couple times – convinced I had too much speed going into the soft off-cambers and that I surely was going to stall out on the log I had placed at the top of steep climb. But I listened and more importantly I relaxed.

The biggest tip Rene gave me? “Go out and play on your bike. Have fun. Set up little courses and just play.”

This has been an interesting week. Our friends our here from Belgium so we’ve been on vacation in our own city. We’ve been checking out the sights of Ottawa and getting in some relaxation. I know I’m not supposed to be training right now, so instead I’ve been lucky to get out with Rene for some awesome rides in the woods.

We’ve been taking it pretty easy and focusing on skills. Wow does it ever help to have the advice from someone who has been racing cyclo-cross for 35 years in Belgium. I’ve learned so much in four days of riding. It is amazing what you can accomplish in one hour of training.I can’t wait to  out there again and work on my new found skills. It really is amazing how the little things add up to helping you gain crucial seconds in a race.

I’ve been feeling pretty good. But this is mostly because I’ve been riding easy. No intervals. No long efforts. No long rides (okay there was the four hour ride to Merrickville and back – but I sat on for most of it). I’ve decided not to do Rideau Lakes this weekend. This is a big disappointment because I really enjoy this ride. But 340 km in two days is not a smart move for me right now. Rideau Lakes is not going anywhere so I’ll be able to do it next year no problem.

I’m feeling optimistic about my health and I know with time things will come around. Thanks for the comments, emails and messages.

For now I’ve got the new Belgian tricks to practice and to think about while I lie in bed dreaming of the upcoming cyclo-cross season.

Sigh. Yes, I just let a big fat sigh. This is not a blog post that is easy to write. I guess because I’m so darned frustrated right now. It feels like for every pedal stroke I take forward, I’m forced to take two backwards. If you’ve been reading this site regularly you know that I’ve been having my fair share of health battles. Well, it felt like I’d turned a corner – my energy levels were coming back, my ulcerative colitis had settled down, and I was starting to feel good again. My rides were getting longer and the quality was getting higher and higher.

And then this past week, the man with the hammer arrived. Fatigue. Overwhelming fatigue. Fatigue that makes 120 watts feel like an all-out sprint. In my typical fashion, I tried to ignore this fatigue – assuming it was just a result of a hard ride I had done earlier. Then when Mr. Fatigue kept on hanging around, I got a bit crazy in the head – thought the problem was obviously me and that it was time to think about what I’m doing and aiming for. (Luckily Marc and my coach (Steve Weller) talked some sense into me.)

After a couple of blood tests and some discussions with my doctor – it turns out the medicine (Imuran) that really has been keeping me “healthy” has been making me very sick. Without going into the crazy details – I have anemia again and my white blood cell count has gotten dangerously low. All because of the medicine – we knew this was a potential side effect but up until four weeks ago things were looking good, my doctor reduced my dosage and assumed things would level out. Nope, my numbers have continued to drop. So, I’m off the Imuran now.

I’m really kind of in limbo. I haven’t ridden since Tuesday. Yes, my brand new bike (Stevens SLR Aero) – thanks to Vince at The Cyclery is just sitting there in my garage begging to be ridden. I’ve been told to rest. But for how long? I’m not good at resting. I hate resting. I’m an athlete – I need to feel my body move and to hear my muscles screaming out for me to pedal harder and to go faster. But I can’t.

Rationally I know that rest makes sense. But it is June. The sun is shining the days are warm and long. Cyclo-cross season starts in 14 weeks. And I’m not riding. I’m sitting and hoping and waiting. Everyone says that health is number one. Yes, I know this, but it is still darn hard. I’d give anything right now to get out on my bike and do a long hard ride with lots of intervals, hard climbs and then battle a headwind all the way home – it sure beats sitting.

But all I can do is look down the road. If I want to be racing in Plzen and Tabor in October, I have to rest now. If I want to race in Niel, Namur, Zolder, Overijse, Hasselt, Koksijde, and the World Championships – I have to rest.

So if you can do one thing for me – go out for a ride today. I don’t care if it is pouring down rain and the wind is fierce – get out and ride. Enjoy your bike and relish in the fact that you can get out and do it. Because once this joy is taken from you, it is darn hard.

Yes, okay this is a bit of a corny title but I think it is appropriate. After all it is with thanks to the bike that I and many of you have got to experience some of the best things in life: travel, camaraderie, achievement, relaxation, and the thrill of balancing on a two-wheeler.

Really on a perfectly sunny day there is nothing better than being out on a bike. It doesn’t really matter if you’re kitted up in spandex and looking at you power meter or if you’re out on your commuter-type bike with family and kids in tow enjoying a relaxing pedal down the bicycle path. However it happens, the bike really is a ticket to freedom.

Thanks to the bike I’ve been all over the world. Thanks to the bike I’ve been able to find a level of personal achievement and that extra ounce of determination needed to keep on pushing. Thanks to the bike I’ve been able to quiet my brain and just get lost in the thrill of life. Thanks to the bike I’ve met some fabulous people and forged some deep friendships.

So, yes, it really is all about biking bliss. There is nothing quite like getting out on the bike and seeing where it will take me. Similar to how authors talk about not knowing what their characters will do or say next, I feel the same about my bike. Some days I really don’t know where we’ll be going, but wherever it is, there is a reason for it.

Even though I know how important rest and recovery is in developing and maintaining fitness, it is the one aspect of my training that I struggle with. I like to keep on going and going and going. I like to imagine that the dead leg feeling I have will go away and the over all body fatigue is nothing to worry or bother with. Luckily for me, I have a coach who knows this and makes sure I take some serious rest days during my training blocks.

As luck would have it, this past Monday marked the first day of a four day rest period. In typical fashion, I didn’t really “think” I needed to rest… So even though the calendar said Day Off Bike – I went for a ride. Just a little teeny tiny short one with Marc – it is not often we get to ride together so I was eager to go. We rode for a mere 35 minutes at a very pedestrian pace. But let me tell you, that pace felt like I was racing again. Yep – turns out I was tired and needed a break.

And today was the last of my four day rest and recovery block. These past three days of riding have been super easy chilled out rides of nothing more than 90 minutes. Kind of nice actually. Lots of time in the small ring. I found myself taking in my surroundings a lot more on these rides and really paying attention to how my body was feeling.

What I find interesting is I get in the same mindset each time I have a few days of rest scheduled. Initially I don’t believe I need them and then by the end of the cycle, I’m really enjoying these rest days. Funny how this is.

But I do admit, as much as I enjoy the super easy days, I crave the long days in the saddle. I think one of my favorite types of rides is a three or four hour ride with some intervals thrown in. Of course, I’d gladly trade any ride for a cyclo-cross ride at Averbode forest, Kasterlee, or at my local training grounds in Ottawa. Can’t really beat getting out on the ‘cross bike for a few hours and playing around in the trees, mud and sand.

Tomorrow I’ll be out for a longer ride with some tempo intervals thrown in to shake out the legs – all the while thinking of the upcoming cyclo-cross season and racing my bike for 40 minutes.