Go Time

It is time. Time to get to the airport, get checked in and get on the plane. I’ve been anticipating this day for a while now. But now that it is here, I kind of wish I could delay it for a few days. Everything seems a bit rushed right now. I know I’ll be okay once I get on the plane. But I wish I had a few more days with Marc. A few more days here at home to think and to just be. Don’t get me wrong – I want to go. It is just harder this year to go alone without Marc. (He’ll be getting to Belgium on Nov. 25 and believe me, I’m already counting down the days.)

I caved and ended up bringing a suitcase with me this time. No luck getting everything into two bike boxes and a carry-on. Really the items that took up the most space aren’t my clothing – it is all the Clif Bar product and my ulcerative colitis medicine! Can’t leave this valuable stuff at home. I’ve got my iPad loaded up with a couple of television shows, one of my favorite movies (Up), my favorite pro rider (George Hincapie), and some yoga to stretch the muscles, mind and soul.

Tuesday is going to be a busy day. Build bikes. Get out for a two hour ride – try out both bikes. Get unpacked. Get some food. Beat the jetlag and get sorted out for the first race in Niel, Belgium. Karl and Denise arrive on Thursday – I’m looking forward to showing Karl my favorite training routes and helping them to get oriented with Blauberg, Herselt, Averbode, and the area.

I’m racing on Thursday in Niel and then I’ve got a solid week and a bit of training until the next set of races – Hasselt on the 20th and Apere Gavere on the 21st. I really liked the Hasselt race last year. Asper Gavere? Well, I got through it! This year I’m looking forward to riding better technically at Aspere Gavere – the mud is my friend and so are steep muddy descents!

I’ve been thinking a bit more about Nationals on Saturday. What a day. It was one where so many of us had goals that we wanted to tick off. But just as in life, this doesn’t always happen. I’m taking all the good I can from that day. The good on and off the bike. I got to meet some new people, reinforce friendships, cheer on my good friends, and race my bike. Many thanks to the “kids” for their overwhelming support this season – training with these young guys has just been awesome. Between them and Marc I’ve learned so much already. Thanks to Natasha for the email today about my health issues – it really does help to have some advice from someone else who has been down the same rocky and uncertain road. Things will get better. Soon enough I’ll feel like myself again. I can’t wait to see what I can put together on and off the bike when this comes to fruition.

Alright, I best be off. The clock is ticking and we’ve got to now jam all my gear into the back of our trusty Matrix. If you see Marc out at the races – be sure to give him a hug and a kiss for me and cheer extra loudly for him. Can’t wait to see him on Nov. 25.

Two More Sleeps

It is the Thursday before the Canadian Cyclo-Cross National Championships. In years past I’ve been a bit stressed out at this point. Perhaps even basket case is the appropriate terminology. But not this year. Nope, I’ve grown a lot as a bike racer – both physically and mentally. I’ve got a new approach to racing now. I’ve learned the hard way that the crazy stress, nerves and anxiety doesn’t do anything to help me on race day. If anything, it hurts me.

So instead I’m sitting here looking out into our backyard and feeling a sense of inner calm. This might sound cheesy but it is the truth. I just got in from a great on-road/off-road ride. I hit up some of my new favorite trails by Cedarview Estates. Zipped along some tight and twisty trails, rode around the quarry where I discovered a police car, ambulance and police diving team (I don’t know what was going on), followed the bicycle path through Barrhaven and eventually made it home. A great ride with a light rain and a bit of the fall chill in the air.

I didn’t think about the race or how I wanted the race to play out. I just thought about pedaling, looking ahead and on going faster. This is what I’ll think about on Saturday as well. Pedal. Look up. Go Faster. This is all I can do. I’ve learned that there is no point in worrying about things I can’t control. This is why I try not to look at start lists. I don’t look at long-range weather forecasts. I just deal with it on the day. Train. Rest. Recover. Relax. And everything else will fall into place.

Health-wise I’m still stuck. I’m thankful to be in an ulcerative colitis remission (knock on wood) but now I’m dealing with the side effects of ulcerative colitis. For me, this is a malabsorption issue. My body just can’t absorb vitamins and minerals like someone with a normal digestion system can. This means that my ferritin (iron) and most vitamin/mineral levels are very low. It also means my white blood cell count is high and my red blood cell count is low. Not good for anyone. Really not good for an athlete. All I can do though is work hard at getting better. I’m taking a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals, I’ve had four iron infusions and will get more as soon as I can. I’m focusing on rest and quality training. I’m paying attention to my diet and trying to eat as many high iron foods as possible (whole baby clams are super high in iron). Most of all, I’m not letting this get me down. I could be worse off – I could be in the hospital or also dealing with a full blown ulcerative colitis flare again. So for now, I’ll take what I’ve been handed and make the best of it.

There really is no other choice. I’m not canceling my plans. I’m not stopping training and racing. (Yes, I’ve talked to my coach and doctors – the training and racing is not making it harder for my body to heal.) I’ve got to keep chasing my goals and dreams. Slow and steady just may be the theme for this year.

Alright, enough of this deep talk. For a change of pace, I suggest you click on over to the Race Reports page and read about Timothy Austen’s race experience at the Kanata Ottawa Bicycle Club race on Sunday. Timothy is the future of our sport – fast, young, eager and always full of questions about how to become a better racer. He’s got some great genes to back him up (not to mention some super long legs) and a great support network. Thanks Timothy for the race report.

One Week

Really hard to believe that in one week I’ll be sitting in a hotel room in Toronto, ON getting ready for the Canadian National Cyclo-Cross Championships. Amazing how quickly the season comes. It seems as though we wait all spring and summer for cyclo-cross season and now that it’s here, it literally feels as though it is slipping through my fingers. This is a good thing.

I must admit it is nice to be racing Nationals in November rather than the traditional October Thanksgiving dates. But on the otherhand, if Nationals has been in October, I’d more than likely be writing this post from Belgium thinking about racing in Zondhoven and the Koppenberg Cross. Nonetheless in a week from Monday, I’ll be on a plane bound for Belgium. Gee I think I’ve been writing about this plane ride in pretty much every post this week – can you tell I’m excited?

So training is coming around again. I’m starting to get more energy so I’m now able to do some harder and longer work-outs. This is a refreshing change. On Thursday I had a long and rather torturish date with the trainer, the power meter, and my stop watch. Luckily I had Dragon’s Den (a CBC program) and the Ultimate Fighter reality show for company. Nothing quite like watching entrepreneurs sweat it out in front of deep pockets and watching guys step into the ring and literally get punched in the head – for some motivation. Push biking seems pretty easy after this!

To end the training day, I spent the majority of evening at the Queensway Carleton Hospital getting my third iron infusion. It was a long night (5 hours) but worth it. I have to say the staff at this hospital (particularly the nurses) are just excellent and are very patient with the interesting people that come into the emergency ward. Looks like I’ll have one more infusion before I leave. Hoping that these last two infusions do the trick and dig me out of this anemia hole. I am feeling better every day but now that I’ve started training hard again, I have to be careful to monitor my energy levels.

Bundled up for the coolish air and strong winds today for an excellent recovery ride. I hit up the trails I recently discovered for some fun and relaxing riding. These trails aren’t overly technical but the trail is very narrow and has a lot of twists and turns in it – so it is perfect for working on keeping the feet turning over and always looking ahead. Have to say it was nice to be in the woods out of the wind as well.

This weekend is looking good. Kicking off Saturday with a run and then ending it with some cyclo-cross riding with the EMD Serono young guns and Marc out in Kanata. Should be a good time – hopefully the guys take it easy on me! Sunday is race day. Well, not for me – I’m doing a rather intense training session on the bike instead. Two different sets of intervals and a long ride. But I’ll be out at the race on Sunday as well – plan is to end my ride at the Kanata Rec Center in time to catch the end of the first race, hop on the course for a lap or two and then watch the last race.

Since this is my last weekend at home for quite a while, I’m looking forward to getting some things done around the house, to relaxing a bit, catching up with some friends, spending quality time with Mr. Murphy and my favorite guy, and just generally enjoying life.

I’m wearing my Life is Good shirt right now and I’m pretty pleased that I can smile and say “yes I am Doing What I Like and Liking What I Do”. (The Life is Good slogan is: Do What You Like. Like What You Do.)

30 Minutes

I was given a gift today. A sweet gift of 30 minutes. 30 whole minutes of riding. You have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to this 30 minutes. I was trying to figure out how to stretch this 30 minutes to 3 hours, but common sense prevailed… Lets just say this was a pretty darn fine 30 minutes.

What did I do for 30 minutes of riding? I noodled. I played. I smiled. I soaked up the crisp fall air. I let the sun shine down on my face. I worked on my cycling tan. I pedaled amongst the orange leaves and a little bit of mud. I simply enjoyed the ride for what it was.

A reminder that I am here. That I am on the right path. That this really is short-term pain for long-term gain. Would I have rather been racing this past weekend in Gloucester, Mass.? Darn right. But honestly, it is not fun racing the way I feel right now. It is hard on the head, soul, and body. So I became a superfan for the weekend with thoughts of today’s 30 minutes keeping me stoked for cyclo-cross season.

The weekend of racing in Gloucester was top-notch. Deep and talented fields continued to line-up on the hour each day, making for two fast and exciting days of racing. In my opinion the highlights of the weekend include: the Masters 35+ 1/2/3 race – these guys are fast, the women’s elite race had lots of drama and excitement – Wendy Simms coming from the back row and how about Sally Annis?, watching first year U23 Evan McNeely eat up the elite men’s field on Saturday. On Sunday it was nice to see Karl rebound from a challenging day on Saturday – he showed that patience really does pay off.

Away from the race course, the weekend was made even better thanks to our super hosts: Mike and Cathy. These guys let us crash at their place, eat their food, play with their kittens, and generally just relax. Thanks Mike and Cathy – hopefully we can do the same for you one day (hint, hint – Rideau Lakes Cycle Tour???).

I have to say thank-you to all of you who stopped to talk. Pretty much everyone had the same question: how are you doing? You have no idea how awesome it was to hear this question. I really do appreciate it. And to answer your question: well, I’m doing okay. My 30 minutes of two-wheeled fun have done wonders for my spirits. I’ve got another iron infusion scheduled this week. I’m looking forward to the World Cups in Aigle and Plzen. I’m only looking ahead and as far as I’m concerned, the new season starts this week. What happened, happened. I’m just relieved to know that I’m on finally on the path to wellness.

Amazing what 30 minutes can do for the soul.

New England Worlds – Kinda Sorta

I had really been looking forward to racing at “New England Worlds” aka “Gloucester” all season. But sadly it is not to be. Those tests I had done earlier in the week revealed some additional health issues that I need to sort out in order to be healthy. I’ve learned that I’m really just getting by thanks to my fitness and cycling-determination…. Once again a testament to how living a healthy and active lifestyle can keep you out of the hospital and living a full life. Problem is, that as a result of the ulcerative colitis flare, I’ve developed a pretty severe bout of anemia coupled with a too low hemoglobin/red blood cell count. This explains a lot. In a strange way it is a relief. This news explains why each race this year has been a struggle.

How am I feeling? Well, in a way, relieved – now we know what is going on. But in another way, I’m damn mad. I’m downright angry. Why does happen to me? Why do those people who eat poorly, don’t exercise and quite frankly treat their bodies like garbage disposals, manage to avoid the problems I’m having? Some days I feel like pulling up to the nearest golden arches and hunkering down to a Big Mac, large fries, and chocolate shake. But I don’t. And I won’t. Because that is not the attitude that got me here.

Got me here to this place where I’m surrounded by super friends and sponsors. Friends who cheer for me no matter how I’m riding. Friends who encourage me every step of the way. Friends who when I’ve cracked, have been quick to send emails and post comments reminding me to keep chasing the dream. Friends who know what it is like. Sponsors who were there in the beginning when I was transitioning into elite racing. Sponsors who believed in me to provide me with bikes, clothing, food, shoes, helmets, travel and living support. Sponsors who know that I’ve got lots of great races left in me. (Do yourself a favor and check out my sponsors – some top-notch products and people. Overwhelmed would be the appropriate word.)

I’ve had a few pity parties for myself this season. Wondering what is going on. Why can’t I ride like I did last year? I even asked myself if I still wanted it? And the answer: Yes I want it. Yes, I will be racing at the World Champs in St. Wendel, Germany. Yes, I know I can compete with the best. Yes, I know I’m stronger and smarter than this time last year. Yes. Yes. Yes.

So this weekend there will be no racing for me. I’ll be cheering on my favorite guy. Doing whatever he needs to ensure he has two excellent races. Gloucester is a special place for us. This is the first race we traveled to outside of Canada. This is the first time I stood in the pits. This is the first time I saw the elite women whiz by and wished I could be like them. Gloucester is the first time I stood on the podium. Gloucester is where we were bitten by the ‘cross bug. Can’t hardly wait to get there. If you see me in the pits or roaming around, stop me and say “hello”. Looking forward to a great weekend of racing, cheering, friends, and hanging out.