Tag Archives: World Cup

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December 10, 2010

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Tough News

As you know, I’m all about being honest on this site… So I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m sick. Really sick this time. Sick with the ulcerative colitis to the point where I can’t even think about my bike let alone get out and ride it. This flare came out of the blue last Thursday and initially it wasn’t too bad – I was able to ride and to eat fairly well. This is not the case anymore.

I had a couple of good rides on Monday and Tuesday – though I was pretty much wiped out for the rest of the day, but it still felt good to get out and ride. As for Wednesday and Thursday – there wasn’t any riding. Really all I did was lie on the couch.

Until yesterday I still did think that I could keep racing and that I’d be lining up at next weekend’s double-header of Scheldecross and the Kalmthout World Cup. But it is just not going to happen. I can’t eat or drink much right now. All I want to do is sleep. So racing is out of the question.

This is hard. Really damn hard. I’m so frustrated with my body. Some days it would be easier to understand why this is happening to me if I was a person who lives an unhealthy life. But I don’t – I do everything I can to be healthy and still this ulcerative colitis shows up and puts a stop to my dream and goals.

The only thing I can do now is focus on getting better. Since I’m not racing I have the chance to take some medicine that normally I wouldn’t be able to take. I’m hoping this will help and then I can get myself back on track for next season. (I’m still secretly hoping I can be well enough to race at the Hoogerheide World Cup at the end of January…)

I know that I’ve got a big engine inside of me and lots more kick left in these legs of mine. I’ll be back next year ready to race the season I had planned to have this year.

Many many thanks for your ongoing support and encouragement of my racing and training. I really do appreciate the amazing comments and emails that you send. Each time I race I know that I’ve got your support with me while I’m racing through the mud, sand, grass and crazy descents. Please know that I’m trying to do the same for you – if you listen closely during the race you can hear me shouting “Keep Pedaling”, “Good Job”, “Awesome Ride”, “You’re Doing Great”.

Have a great Friday and get out and spin some miles for me. To all of my American friends who are racing this weekend in the U.S. National Cyclo-Cross Championships – best of luck. The course in Bend, Oregon looks pretty darn narly – looking forward to seeing how all of you do.

A big shout out to my sponsors for the overwhelming support I’ve received this season. These companies have made it possible for me to chase my dreams and goals:

– KingsBridge Disaster Recovery

– The Cyclery

– Stevens Bikes Canada

– Champion Systems Canada

– Bell Lap Coaching

– Clif Bar

– OGC

– Oakley

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November 27, 2010

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Koksijde World Cup

I’m home and recovered from the Koksijde World Cup. What a day! The course was very heavy and muddy – all thanks to the snow that fell overnight. But luckily by the time I raced it was very sunny so the cold wasn’t an issue.

I had a decent race – even beating one person and for a while I was ahead of two people! This was pretty cool. I found the sand running so exhausting. I was literally stumbling over myself trying to keep my legs from not buckling under me. A good sign of how hard I was pushing myself. I felt I rode the course not badly technically. Admittedly sand is not my strength. More practice is required! I did ride the mud really well – I was able to keep my legs turning over and used a trick of pulling myself along the metal barricades (this even got me some pushes from some spectators)!

So it was a good day. The support from Ignace and Alex before the race and afterwards was truly overwhelming. Luc and Linda were great to have there – letting me hang out in their camper, being there at the finish, taking photos and just being great friends. Also big shout out to Karl and Denise for letting me travel with them and for sticking around for my race.

I’ve written a race report here. Photos are posted here.

Tomorrow I’m racing at Drongen with the junior boys. I’m looking forward to seeing Marc race and then racing myself. Great way to round out a weekend of racing.

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November 26, 2010

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Thoughts the Day Before

Last year at this time, I was pretty amped up. It was the day before the Koksijde World Cup. I’d been training on the course all week. I felt good. I felt too good – I was over confident. I felt like I was going to have an awesome race and ride like I’d never ridden before. I also needed to only “finish” the Koksijde World Cup to get the last points I needed to qualify for the Canadian Cyclo-Cross Team and the World Cyclo-Cross Championships. Well, I didn’t have a great race. In fact I didn’t race well at all. The good news is I got the points that I needed. I did qualify. But as I was racing I was in a such a negative headspace during that race that I convinced myself that I didn’t “deserve” to go to the World Cyclo-Cross Championships. Yes, I was in a very bad spot. I had done a very good job of crushing myself mentally.

And now here I sit, the day before the 2010 Koksijde World Cup. I’m in a very different spot this year. If I have an amazing race, I can potentially get the points I need to qualify for the Canadian Cyclo-Cross Team and the World Cyclo-Cross Championships. But it is a long shot. A very long shot. I know this. I’m comfortable with this. Yes, I’d love to get the points so I can qualify. But I’m realistic. I know where I am as a bike racer. This year is a different year for me. I’m focusing on small improvements that will take me to the next big improvement.

So today I sit here with no false hope. No crazy thoughts of having the best race of my life. Instead, I’m going to go out there and race my bike. I’ll pedal as hard as I can. I’ll run as hard as I can. I’ll stay off the brakes. I’ll keep my legs spinning as smoothly as I can in the sand. I’ll attack the power sections. I’ll sprint into the climbs. I’ll keep my eyes up and focused forward. I’ll keep my brain clear. I’ll listen for my supporters out there cheering me on.

I won’t shake my head. I won’t shrug my shoulders. I won’t let my neck slump. I won’t let negative thoughts enter my head.

Nope, it is a new year. This is a new me. I’m just going to ride, smile and try to remember as much of it as I can.

Can’t hardly wait to race at the Koksijde World Cup.

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November 24, 2010

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Liking the Double Double

Wednesdays in this house mean one thing – double double. Road in the morning. Cyclo-cross in the afternoon. A good hard day of training that leaves me with a healthy glow in my cheeks and satisfaction in my soul. Today was a particularly good day of doubling up.

Started the day with a tempo work-out on the roads and paths of the Belgian countryside. I did this work-out without my SRM since I kind of cracked the head unit (nothing major – it is healing as I write). I’m pretty sure I rode harder than I should have in these intervals because I didn’t have any visual feedback. All I had to rely on was my heavy breathing, my pounding heart and my burning legs. A good ride was achieved on some of my favorite twisty roads and intervals roads.

Quick clean of the bike, change of the wheels and it was time for ride number two. I did get in some good downtime with my book and got some stuff sorted in the house. Karl and I hopped in the trusty Peugeot and drove out to Floreal Lichtaart for the afternoon.

The riding at Floreal Lichtaart is top-notch. The cyclo-cross course has a bit of everything and everyone is super helpful. Today we hooked up with Ignace (my mechanic this year) for some training. Ignace drove 100 kilometers to come train with us! Amazing! We did a couple of laps and worked on some sandy corners and descents. Karl took off to ride with one of his friends and I continued on with Ignace. We were quickly joined by a couple of “older” guys who come out to coach the riders. I got lots of amazing tips and advice from these guys. At times the session was a bit challenging since the three guys really don’t speak any English… But with some visual cues, much repetition and hand signals – we got the job done.

I really feel like I learned a lot today. Particularly about when to shift on climbs and how to really attack the climbs. I also got to work on my fearless descending skills. The one area where I know I really need attention is my cornering and just letting the bike flow in the ruts. Baby steps I suppose.

It was a great training session. We did a light spin on the road to shake out our legs and then it was home to clean our bikes. Today was the grimiest I’ve seen Floreal Lichtaart. It made for some interesting riding conditions and really changed the feel of the terrain.

It was a good day. I can say that I really enjoy these double days. Wish I could do them everyday. I hit so many sensations in my body on days like today. I’m also challenged mentally as I’m forced to push my limits technically and really open myself up to risks and rewards. Can’t ask for much more from a training session I suppose.

Alright, off to bed now. Marc is arriving on Thursday and it seems as though I’ve got a lot to accomplish before he arrives.

Koksijde World Cup on Saturday. Should be a good one.

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November 2, 2010

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Expectations vs. Goals

As people we have expectations and we have goals. Things we believe we can do and want to do. Things we really want to accomplish and achieve. But what is the line between expectation and goal. What happens when the expectations take over and the goals get lost. This is when we tend to reframe our expectations as goals. We may even get caught up in the “tyranny of shoulds”.

This happened to me. I didn’t realize this until I had an excellent and challenging conversation with mental coach last night. This guy really just can cut to the meat of what I’m saying and dig out the key statements. There is no hiding behind words. Sometimes, like last night these conversations are darn hard. I literally feel my brain and heart squeezing as I dig deep to really be honest with myself about how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. The brain is an amazing thing – it allows us to trick ourselves into believing we are doing okay – really it is our ultimate protection mechanism.

But thanks to people like Marvin, I’m able with some prodding to get past this protective barrier and come clean with myself. I’ve struggled with the mental game pretty much every race season. But this year I really want things to be different. And I admit after the race in Plzen I was feeling pretty darn low. I had one of those races where I fought the voices in my head for the entire race. Yes, this really only does make things harder.

Now though, things are going to be different. I’ve got a different perspective on this racing gig and what I want to do. I put expectations ahead of goals. The goals got lost with what I believed “I should” be able to achieve. I forgot that the goals are what got me are. The goals are what have made a stronger person. The expectations really for me, only serve to break me down. So know more “shoulds”. Now it is all about “going and doing”.

I just want to go out and ride my bike. Find the fun in it again. Not get wrapped up in outcomes, results, and consequences. I have season goals that I really want to accomplish. But I’ll never get close to these goals if I don’t accomplish the smaller goals – to go out and be completely in race mode and to have fun doing it. When I do this, I’ll be riding my bike the way I know I can and the way I want to (yes this is an expectation…). This won’t happen over night. Nor will I be able to completely break myself of the crazy brain and the expectation vs. goals pressure that I impose on myself. So I’ll approach this the same way that got me from a back-of-the-packer to where I am now – slow and steady.

Focus. Determination. Heart. Soul. Drive. Dedication. This is the stuff of dreams and goals.