I’m sitting here at 8:30 in the morning at home. Totally relaxed. Totally recharged. Just got back from a weight work-out from the gym. Maybe it is the endorphins. Maybe it is the feeling of breathing room. Whatever it is – I’ll take it.

Really this new feeling of lightness and freedom can be traced to one major change. I no longer work full-time. That’s right, I lasted four weeks at the new job. I still work there – but part-time. I really thought I could do it all. Hit the gym three times a week. Put in seven quality bike work-outs a week. Got to work for 7.5 hours. Commute for close to 90 minutes each day. Keep the house organized: cook good food, get decent amounts of sleep and time to recharge.

Nope. Can’t do it. I am not Wonder Woman. As much as I want to be. I’m not her. To be blunt: I cracked. I became a pretty rotten person to be around. So stressed that I barely cracked a smile. Everything literally became a chore – yes, including my cyclo-cross training.

Marc and I had a big talk on Friday night. Decisions were made. A few tears were shed (mine). And now I work part-time. Allowing me focus on my training for cyclo-cross. The extra bonus of this new work arrangement is that I’m working part-time from home. Yep – can’t get much better.

These past four weeks have really put things in perspective for me. I realized that I can’t be ready to compete with the elite of cyclo-cross when I’m spending the bulk of my day at a job. They’re out riding, resting, napping, getting a massage, etc. – and I’m sitting in a meeting… So now I’ve got the opportunity to really focus. To really commit myself to this goal of making the national team and racing at Tabor in 2010.

This is all thanks to Marc. He was the one who pointed out how rotten I’d become and how worried he was about me. His fear was that I would quit bike racing – all for a job… So now with Marc’s support I can really do what I need to do. I’m so very lucky.

Talked to coach Steve yesterday – he is stoked about this. We’ve already made changes to my training now that I have more time to ride my bike. Got some cyclo-cross specific coaching lined up. All the little pieces are coming together.

In February when I got home from Belgium, I put together a list of things I needed to improve for the upcoming ‘cross season. The list was a bit overwhelming. But now that I have the time and energy to fully devote to this, I’m slowly being able to make notes on how I’m actually going to get through the list. I really feel like things are coming together.

Definitely feeling an attitude of gratitude right now. So lucky to be able to truly focus on my bike. I’m so excited again to be a bike racer. I must admit I had lost some of the passion for the bike that I had this time last year. Amazing what stress can do to you….

Well, I’m off. Time to go to my yin yoga class. Get some deep stretching into my hips and back. Just what the body and brain needs. So looking forward to the upcoming cyclo-cross season.

One thought on “Changes

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