Remember the other day when I wrote about “squeezing the most out of every healthy day”? I felt pretty good when I wrote that. Inspired. Motivated. Focused.
Well, the truth is sometimes I don’t live up to my lofty words and ideals. You see the thing is, sometimes I convince myself that I’m not strong enough, fast enough, fit enough, or simply good enough – and I don’t do what I want to do. This happened on Wednesday.
There is a local group here in Ottawa/Gatineau that meets twice a week for snowshoe runs in the Gatineau Park. I’ve wanted to go on these runs for a long time. Last night was the night. My bag was packed. My snowshoes were in the car. I was ready. Then during the day, I managed to talk myself out of going out to the snowshoe run.
I worried about being able to keep up with group.
I stressed about running for 90 minutes.
I mumbled to myself about a lingering heal injury.
I obsessed over the cold weather.
I told myself that I shouldn’t go.
I justified this with some twisted logic.
I let myself down.
Sometimes I let my crazy brain and insecurities win. I guess this makes me human – but I still hate it when this happens. Interesting how self-confidence can slip through my fingers like water.
Don’t beat yourself up Vicki – take stock and join the group again next week! I am sure you will surprise yourself.
Thanks Anita! I decided last night I’d be out there next week. The race at the ARK on Saturday should help me gauge my fitness.
Given what you told me last night, were you like a deer “caught in the headlights”?
Give yourself time; you’ll get there.
Ha – that is a good point Dad! Just nervous about not being able to “keep up”. Not rational – I know.
I’ll email you about the headlight saga….
Read my book: An Unlikely Elite
Thank you for sharing… this one is for you.
Great post Katy! It helps to know that we’re not alone with our sometimes “not rational” thoughts.
Glad you’ll be out on the 26th. Should be a good time. (Thanks as well for your kind words – it means a lot.)
Read my book: An Unlikely Elite
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