“I hate my body.”

I said this to Marc this morning.

I hate the intense abdominal pains that come out of nowhere. I hate the way my body responds to food. I hate that I do not have any safe foods anymore. I hate that I can’t rely on my body.

This is real life with ulcerative colitis for me. I look great – healthy, fit, tanned, etc. I’m active with cycling, swimming, walking, and generally living life.

But under all this – the truth comes out. Life with a chronic illness like ulcerative colitis is hard. It’s there everyday. The fear of what food will do. The pain that comes out of nowhere. Not knowing if this will be a good day or a bad day.

I did not write this for sympathy.

I’m writing this because I believe it’s important to never sugarcoat real life. I’m writing this to remind people that what you see on the outside is not the whole story.

I write this to let others out there living with ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s Disease, and other chronic illnesses know that you’re not alone – there are people around who know and who understand.