(Sorry but this post is not really about cyclo-cross…)

Today is pretty darn perfect day. My little brother and his wife are now the proud parents of a beautiful little baby boy. Henry Tilsed Thomas. Born today on January 8, 2010.

Just spoke to the proud mom and dad via Skype and saw little Henry. Gregory had a massive grin. Liz was glowing. Henry was perfect.

I didn’t get a look at Henry’s legs but I have a feeling that he has some long femurs – perfect for bike racing!

My thoughts are in Toronto right now with the proud parents and their wonderful baby boy.

I ride with destination in mind. A destination that cannot be found on a map. It is a destination found only deep inside my soul. This destination keeps the wheels turning and the fires burning. This is why I ride a bicycle.

The destination is deeply intertwined with desire. Desire to be stronger, faster, smarter, happier, fulfilled. I don’t know if the destination and the desire will ever truly meet head-on. Suppose this would be true bicycle riding nirvana. Not sure if I want that – because then what?

The new year is a time of goals, dreams, retrospectives, and opportunity. I’m getting there. Slowly but surely. I’m putting together some of these. No resolutions for me. Rather a fresh way of considering the destination. This destination seems to ebb and flow with my soul.

Can I? Should I? Too high? Not high enough? When is enough enough? What do you think?

The desire is the reason for these questions. I want. I want it all. I crave it. But is it possible? Is the desire beyond the destination? Is the destination reason enough for the desire?

What comes first: destination or desire?

The only way I will know is to keep riding my bicycle. My name is Vicki Thomas and I have to ride my bicycle each and everyday. Pedaling seems to make everything make sense. The destination and desire are clear for those precious minutes and hours. It is the time away that makes it all seem so blurry.

For now, I can only focus on the destination and the desire will keep flowing.

Why do you ride a bicycle?

Ah, Wednesday. Nothing quite like a Wednesday. The middle of the work week. The day before Thursday which is the day before Friday. Now throw in the start of a new training block and this Wednesday takes on even greater meaning. It is the infamous double day. A road ride in the morning. A cyclo-cross ride in the afternoon.

Thanks to the frosty weather and icy roads, I ended up doing my morning ride on the trainer. Probably for the best anyway since I had to do some specific microburst intervals. As much as I loath the trainer, it is a useful tool when specific work-outs are required. It allows you to remove variables such as stop signs/lights, dogs, tail/head winds, etc. – making it pretty simple to focus totally on the required efforts. A solid two hours was put in this morning. During the recovery block at the end, Marc decided to raise my saddle – he raised it a full centimeter! Guess it was a bit low. Marc realized that I wasn’t getting full leg extension. Then when Tim and Jos came by, Tim decided to push my saddle forward… It was pushed all the way back so we moved it forward about a centimeter. Time will tell what these changes do to my riding position. But admittedly, my riding position does need some adjustment.

After a bit of a break and a refuel, I was out again for the second ride of the day. I took the bike with the adjusted saddle height and position. And? Well, I didn’t notice any negative affects from these changes. Felt quite natural really. Marc came out with me on this ride and was a massive help. He essentially rode behind me and shouted things like “pedal”, “look up”, “look ahead”, “pedal – why aren’t you pedaling”, “good job”, “better”. I started the ride a bit tense and rather spectacular crash in the first ten minutes didn’t help matters. It has been a long time since I’ve endoed and had the sensation of “flying through the air”. Not sure what happened but now I’m a bit stiff and sore – the front of my helmet made a very nice and deep imprint in the snow. Thank-you Giro for making such reliable helmets!

We zoomed around the ‘cross course at Averbode for a good couple of hours – working on getting faster, smoother, more confident and trying to do the “little” things right. At times frustrating, but with patience, I was able to see small improvements. It is fascinating what the layer of snow does to a course. All in all, a great ride.

In fact, a great day of training. I’d been craving a hard interval work-out to get that ache in my legs and a bit of panting in my lungs. Then to follow this up with a ride where I saw some progress, well the training day is pretty much complete.

Tomorrow is looking like another good day of training. A little 2.5 hours with tempo intervals. Another date with the trainer. But at least Marc has got lots of good movies for me to watch!

Well, I’m done for the night. Time to chillax with the remote control and the television. Last night we stumbled upon the track World Cup from Cali. Watched the Canadians rip it up pretty fierce. Nice to see.

Over the last few days I’ve received some pretty amazing emails and comments. Really these mean so much to me. I love reading them. I read them out loud to Marc. I keep them open so I can refer back to them and capture the positive vibes you’re sending me. All I can hope is that one day I can do the same for you.

The cold weather has returned to Belgium. Not only cold weather but also snow. This has resulted in some icy and dodgy bicycle paths and roads. No choice really but to ride the trainer. I’m not a fan of the trainer. I can get into it when it is minus 20 outside and I definitely can’t ride outdoors. But when it is not that cold (minus 2) but the roads are bad, I really hate the trainer.

I’ve done two days in a row of trainer riding now. Two 90 minute recovery rides. Yesterday I watched Young At Heart – this is a great documentary about the Young At Heart choir. The Young At Heart choir is composed of senior citizens who sing “popular” music. It is a fantastic film. Great message about living life fully. I would really like to see this choir live one day. Hopefully they add Canada to their tour stops. Today, I caught up with everyone else out there and finally watched In Bruges. Really enjoyed this movie. Strange to be watching this film while being in Belgium and having already visited Bruges. Bruges is one of my favorite cities, and now after watching the film, I want to return!

I’ve got a double day on deck for Wednesday. The morning is 2.5 hours with microburst intervals. I really really hope I can do this ride outside. I can’t stomach 2.5 hours on the trainer. In the afternoon I’ve got 1.5 hours of skills work. Have to see what the weather is like – depends on where I will go. Options are Floreal Lichtaart or the Averbode Abby and forest.

I’m looking forward to this last block of training. It is the last bit of training leading up to the World Championships in Tabor. Lots of longer rides with interval sessions and tempo blocks. Just the kind of riding I like to do leading up to a big event. I like to have the feeling of “effort” in my legs prior to an important race. I find these hard rides give me a lot of confidence regarding my fitness and preparation. I know that I really can’t build any “new” fitness by Jan. 31 but I can sharpen some of the edges both physically and mentally.

This week I’m talking with a sports psychologist that has been recommended to me by my coach and Marc’s coach. Looking forward to talking with him. I wonder if I should have done this a couple of weeks ago. But it might have been too much too soon. I’m in a better head space than I was a few weeks ago. I’m more realistic and aware of the possibilities I have ahead of me. I’m not feeling as down on myself as I was. But I still am not feeling it 100 per cent. It will be useful to talk about how I’m feeling with an “expert” and get some advice on how to handle the race pressure I impose on myself and how to deal with my own expectations. One revelation that has been helpful these past few days has been looking at the ages of some of the other women I race against (and who are finishing where I want to be…) – 43, 41, 45… Yep, lots of riding years left in these legs, lungs, and heart.

Well, I’m off. Think I might try to squeeze in a little 20 minute yoga session before calling it a night. I spent the afternoon in Leuven – taking in the shops, the January sales, drinking some decaf cappuccinos, and being a bit of a tourist. If you’re curious about my day, check out Victoria’s Island (I posted pictures!).

Thanks again for the super supportive comments, emails, and messages. These mean more to me than you can truly understand. It is so helpful to know that I have so many people cheering me on.

Sunday brought with it cold, snow, wind, and a challenging day on the bike. But it was a day on the bike – so this is a good thing. Nothing worse than wanting to ride and not being able to ride. With thanks to Jos for picking me up and navigating the slippery snowy roads and driving me to the cyclo-cross race in Tervuren.

I really wish I could give you a riveting blow-by-blow race report of the action. But I can’t. You see, this race course was a couple of notches above my technical skill level. In North America, this would have been a mountain bike race. Ya, it was like that. After doing a couple of warm-up laps, I really didn’t want to race. But Jos and Nikki Harris (2nd place on the day), convinced me to just get on my bike and try it. I knew this was the only solution. So I did it. It wasn’t pretty. It was slow. I was all over the brakes (went through a set of brake pads!). But I did it. This is good. Next year I’ll be ready for this race – I’ll know what to expect, I’ll have the technical skills to actually “race” this race rather than simply ride it. So, in the end there were some successes to take from this day. I have written a race report.

I guess this experience allowed me to take another bite out of the elephant. I’m sure I learned a few things from this race experience, lessons that will become clear over the next few days/weeks.

The rest of the day was pretty good. Easy drive home. Lots of good conversation with Jos. Chilled out here for a bit, got to talk to my dad. Nice dinner out at our favorite little cafe. Then the last two episodes of The Amazing Race (which I think I slept through…). All in all, a good Sunday. It is now Monday morning and I’m looking forward to a good week of training and the potential for some races this weekend. This weekend is the National Championships weekend for every country (except Canada and the U.S.), so there isn’t much racing available to me and Marc.

As usual, Luc was out cheering me on and snapping photos. So here are some more excellent photos, with thanks to Luc: