Well, I’m in the second week of my new phase in life. Starting to get in the groove of it. I’ve got to say there is something to be said for getting a good night’s sleep and starting the day refreshed. Not to mention the fact that my teeth don’t hurt anymore…

So, what happens now? Well, I’m still working (except really for yesterday and today). Tomorrow I’ve got a meeting and then I’ll be able to start on a pretty interesting project (for a technical writer). This project will keep me busy for my four hours a day. I’ve got my work day set up for the hours of 10 – 2. Pretty perfect. This allows me to get a good sleep in the morning. Then get to the gym or yoga before starting work. Quitting time at 2 gives me plenty of time to get my ride in and then have time to just recover and be me. Massive bonus of this schedule is that I’m working from home!

Getting the cyclo-cross focused training puzzle pieces together as well. Took in the mountain bike for a tune-up. Picking up some clincher ‘cross tires so I can get my ‘cross bike ready to roll. I’ve got a technical cyclo-cross coach arranged as well (thank-you so much) so this will be excellent. I’ve learned from two seasons of racing in Europe that yes wattage is important but technical skills are still number one. My wattage numbers are steadily climbing and now I need to bring my technical skills up to the same level.

For me a lot of this has to do with overcoming fear. That’s right. Fear. It took me a long time to recognize this deep seated monkey on my back. I couldn’t figure out why I was quick to brake or ease up on my pedaling. After much trial and error and soul searching it came down to one thing fear. I think this fear is really tied to self-confidence. Lacking the self-confidence in my technical skills caused some fear in my racing brain. So now the job is to build up the technical skills, thereby boosting the self-confidence and hammering down the fear. Like I said, puzzle pieces.

Exciting times really. I’m stoked to get out on the ‘cross bike and push my limits. (Reminds me I need to check out the NCC web site to find out if the Gatineau Park trails are open to cyclists.)

The work in the gym is really starting to pay off. My legs, upper body and core are noticeably stronger. The tricky part is now figuring out how to best use this strength on the bike. I’ve realized that my upper body is really not doing much when I’m sprinting or climbing. I’ve tried to get the upper body and core engaged but just can’t put my finger on what I’m missing. More practice. More questions. More advice. It will come together.

I think the biggest challenge I’ll have this summer is patience. I want to do everything now. If it was up to me, I’d pack a gym work-out, a rode ride, a cyclo-cross ride and a yoga session all into one day! Yes, coach Steve has done an excellent job of getting me to slow down and take a breath. But you know that feeling when you want something so bad you just want to get there as fast as possible? That’s how I feel right now.

Yes, the emotion and passion is back. I’ve had a great couple weeks of training. I’m feeling more focused and invested in what I’m doing. So far I don’t feel any extra pressure on myself. After all, my only working part-time does affect not only myself but Marc as well. I have two jobs now. My goal is to do the best I can at both. At the end of the day, I’ll be able to rest my head well knowing that I’ve done all I could today to get to my goal.

For some extra inspiration, go read this interview with Svein Tuft. This guy is a role model for all cyclists out there.

Okay, time to get the bike out and get out for my ride. On deck today 2 hours endurance with some sprint work. Cool. Moving forward. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Oh, I believe the latest issue of Cyclocross Magazine is almost ready to hit the pavement. Make sure you pick up a copy.

I’ve simply just had a banner week of training. Feel like I’ve got my groove back. I’m smiling again. The pedals are ticking over really smoothly. The numbers are looking super good. Best of all, I feel like a bike racer again.

I had a great ride this evening – endurance ride with some sprint work. And everything just really came together. The bike seemed to just float beneath me. I felt really comfortable on the bike. It responded the way I wanted. My legs were pumping. My brain was where it needed to be (i.e. not thinking about the piles of laundry or the apple pie I’m baking tomorrow).

Nope the brain was right there. Focused and intent on the work-out. I feel well rested. So well rested that I forgot that I did a super work-out at the gym this morning. Amazing how much one can change in a week.

I am back to enjoying the bike. It is no longer a chore. It is my passion again. There is saying around writers “write what you know”. Well I’m doing what I know – and that is training and racing. I’m feel so uber-focused and positive right now. I’m back in that mindset of waking up and going to bed with positive thoughts in my brain.

I’ve got to say this is a pretty sweet place to be. Ray Zahab says in his Run the Sahara movie that it is “90% mental”. I’m starting to have an appreciation for what he means by this. Brain has to be on board and ready to roll – if not, it doesn’t matter how many watts you can pump out.

So all this to say – I’m feeling good. Looking forward to getting in some more excellent work-outs this weekend. Also getting in some family time on Saturday and then some smooth barbecue action here in Barrhaven with Fearless Leader and his better half. Yep it is going to be a good one. Nice sweet reward for a good week of training and a fresh new outlook on life.

I’m sitting here at 8:30 in the morning at home. Totally relaxed. Totally recharged. Just got back from a weight work-out from the gym. Maybe it is the endorphins. Maybe it is the feeling of breathing room. Whatever it is – I’ll take it.

Really this new feeling of lightness and freedom can be traced to one major change. I no longer work full-time. That’s right, I lasted four weeks at the new job. I still work there – but part-time. I really thought I could do it all. Hit the gym three times a week. Put in seven quality bike work-outs a week. Got to work for 7.5 hours. Commute for close to 90 minutes each day. Keep the house organized: cook good food, get decent amounts of sleep and time to recharge.

Nope. Can’t do it. I am not Wonder Woman. As much as I want to be. I’m not her. To be blunt: I cracked. I became a pretty rotten person to be around. So stressed that I barely cracked a smile. Everything literally became a chore – yes, including my cyclo-cross training.

Marc and I had a big talk on Friday night. Decisions were made. A few tears were shed (mine). And now I work part-time. Allowing me focus on my training for cyclo-cross. The extra bonus of this new work arrangement is that I’m working part-time from home. Yep – can’t get much better.

These past four weeks have really put things in perspective for me. I realized that I can’t be ready to compete with the elite of cyclo-cross when I’m spending the bulk of my day at a job. They’re out riding, resting, napping, getting a massage, etc. – and I’m sitting in a meeting… So now I’ve got the opportunity to really focus. To really commit myself to this goal of making the national team and racing at Tabor in 2010.

This is all thanks to Marc. He was the one who pointed out how rotten I’d become and how worried he was about me. His fear was that I would quit bike racing – all for a job… So now with Marc’s support I can really do what I need to do. I’m so very lucky.

Talked to coach Steve yesterday – he is stoked about this. We’ve already made changes to my training now that I have more time to ride my bike. Got some cyclo-cross specific coaching lined up. All the little pieces are coming together.

In February when I got home from Belgium, I put together a list of things I needed to improve for the upcoming ‘cross season. The list was a bit overwhelming. But now that I have the time and energy to fully devote to this, I’m slowly being able to make notes on how I’m actually going to get through the list. I really feel like things are coming together.

Definitely feeling an attitude of gratitude right now. So lucky to be able to truly focus on my bike. I’m so excited again to be a bike racer. I must admit I had lost some of the passion for the bike that I had this time last year. Amazing what stress can do to you….

Well, I’m off. Time to go to my yin yoga class. Get some deep stretching into my hips and back. Just what the body and brain needs. So looking forward to the upcoming cyclo-cross season.

If you know me, you know that I like criteriums. Not sure what really appeals to me. I think it is the speed, the corners, and the excitement of this race style. I’m not a sprinter at all – I simply like the tight fast racing of criteriums. So I was pretty happy to be traveling to Brossard today to race a crit.

I find the women in Quebec are typically strong crit racers. Like here, they have an opportunity to do a lot of training crits so the confidence and experience level is quite high. Not to mention that Quebec is home to the some of the top women’s teams in Canada.

I raced at 11:00 and Marc raced at 4:30, so it didn’t really make sense for us to travel to this race together. Luckily I was able to catch a ride with Jon and Derrick Gee. Even better was the door-to-door service. Jon and Derrick went out of their way to pick me up at the crack of dawn. Thanks guys – much appreciated. We had an easy drive down with lots of laughs and stories. Jon was up first joining the rest of the Masters B Ride with Rendall crew for a fast and challenging race. I took in most of the race, thanks to Jon’s trainer – I was able to use Jon’s trainer to warm-up and get focused. I find it makes such a difference to have a trainer to warm-up on before a race – takes the stress out of finding good roads and dodging cars – and I find the quality of the warm-up is higher.

I’ve written a race report and posted it here. So go check that out to get the nitty-gritty details on my race. I wasn’t sure what to expect today. The race started out pretty hard and at one point (actually a couple of times) I was on the ropes. Exactly what I want from a race. There were lots of breaks that would get away but nothing solid that would stick. I was able to bridge up to the winning break and was third. So definitely a good day on the bike. So much fun riding in a break – the effort is super hard, but it is so worth it when you realize the gap that has been created and can taste success. I had a super fun time on my bike today.

Derrick was up next racing with the 11 year olds. He raced a super hard race and spent two hard laps working to bridge to the break. His cheeks turned a funny color of purple during this effort! An excellent ride for Derrick and I believe his first experience racing a crit.

We stopped at Boston Pizza for a relaxing lunch and enjoyed the sunny day on the patio. One of the benefits of racing early in the day is that you don’t have the crazy rush to get in the car and get home before it is too late.

All in all a most excellent day. Got to see some friendly faces and share some good times. It felt like half of Ottawa was at the race today. So that was super cool. One funny moment before our race: we were standing around waiting for the Masters B sprint, when one of the girls asked in a panicked voice “Is it Mother’s Day today?”, lucky for us it is not until next Sunday… Thanks to Ingrid Coney for the cheering during the race and the kind words before and after the race – much appreciated. Huge shout out again to Jon and Derrick for putting up with me and my endless chatter to and from the race.

I don’t have a confirmed result on how Marc did, so I’ll post that later. I sent him some fast pedaling vibes – I’m sure they helped…

As I was riding to work this morning, I realized that it has been a while since my last post on this little site. Sorry about this. I guess I’m in a phase where I’m not sure if I have anything really to say here. I’m not in the thick of racing. Training is rolling along. Ticking off the boxes and making progress. So what is there really to say?

Sure, I could rant and rave about the positive drug tests. But why bother? Frankly I’m not surprised and I’m pretty sure you aren’t either. Honestly, I thought more athletes would be caught. I could go on and on about Lance and Co. doing the Tour of Gilla. But why? Rules are being bent, followed, etc. You know so long as North American bike racing comes out on top and for the better, this is what really matters. I heard that Lance’s participation has resulted in the race being televised in Spain – this is a good thing. Cycling has also made it into the NY Times for two days in a row. Again a good thing. (No matter your opinion on the veracity of the articles.) I could write about the upcoming Giro. But really, I have nothing to say about this race. I’ll leave this to the people on the ground who really know what is going on. In fact be sure to keep your eyes on Canadian Cyclist as word on the street has it that one of my pals will be posting live from the Giro.

So, then what it is left for me to write about? Nutrition – not feeling it right now. Not to say my nutrition isn’t on track and going well. I just don’t feel like telling you what I think about it right now. Nutrition and cyclists is a touchy subject – in my opinion, nutrition is an individual thing – what works for me, may not work for you. This being said, I did have a super tasty breakfast – 1/2 cup of canned pumpkin (not canned pumpkin pie mix), 1/2 cup of non-fat cottage cheese, two tablespoons of ground flax seed, a dollop of cinnamon – dump all in a bowl and give it a good stir. Tasty, chock full of fiber and will keep you going for a little bit. I’m a big fan of canned pumpkin these days.

I could write about training. But you all pretty much know what is going on with me and training these days. I’m learning to balance riding, commuting by bike, weight lifting, yoga, and stretching. Squeezing everything in takes some learning and focus. Soon enough I’ll be adding in trail riding and technical skill work. Yep, the plate will be full. But you know me, I like it that way. Speaking of lifting weights, I had a super session at the gym this morning. Day 3 of the new program from John Zahab. Geez, this program looks innocent on paper, but looks are deceiving. Loving the back squats. Big fan of lat pull-down (only because this is my path to the elusive and tempting chin-ups). Big fan of the Bosu ball – one minute you think you’ve got this thing conquered and the next you’re wobbling all over the place. Gee, can you tell that I like spending time in the gym? In another life I think I could have been a bodybuilder.

I could write about racing. But I think I did this earlier in the week.. I’ve got a race on deck this Sunday. Brossard criterium. Should be good. No expectations. Plan is to go, warm-up, line-up, pedal and see what happens. One thing is for sure I’m stoked to watch the young Gee race at 12:40. I never stick around for the kids races so this will be a treat. Yes, I’ll write a race report – check back on Sunday for the details.

Huh, seems like for someone who didn’t think she had much to say, I did a pretty darn good job. You know quickly reviewing this post, one things come to mind: balance. This is the trickiest part of being a full-time worker/wannabe-full-time bike racer. Finding the balance so that one doesn’t consume the other. It is funny, my career as a technical writer I think really makes my bike racing so much better. Sitting here in this chair really makes me value the time I spend on my bike, traveling to races, my time in Europe, etc. Everything is just that much more sweeter. This is not to say that if someone offered me a “package” that would allow me to focus solely on training, racing, and recovery that I wouldn’t be all over it. I would be on it fast! I think one problem these days, is too many athletes expect to get the full-ride. This is sad. We are lucky to race our bikes. We are lucky to be able to afford to travel to races. No one makes us do this. We want to do it. So when I see bike racers/athletes griping about lack of funding, no sponsors, etc. I really am tempted to speak up and point out that no one is making them race their bikes – they chose to do it. Okay, I better stop, I feel some dangerous words creeping into these fingers.

But I think you get my drift. Enjoy it. Savor it. Find balance. Remember what is truly important. Ultimately, most of us do this for fun. And if you’re living in North America, chances are you have a pretty solid education to back you up for the time when you don’t want to race anymore.