You know that feeling when you’re feeling good? You’re feeling so good that you feel as if you have limitless energy and could ride, ski, or run forever? Well, I’ve got that feeling these days. This is awesome (it has been a long time since I’ve had this) – but it is also not so awesome.

The thing is, sometimes I struggle with listening to my body. Particularly when I don’t have a “set” training plan. Right now I’m out there having fun doing whatever I want. This is great. But often this results in my riding the trainer for an hour before work and then going out for a ski later in the day or meeting up with XCZone crew for a snowshoe run. I can sustain this for a couple of days and then I crash. And I crash hard.

My body simply speaks up and says “hey – you don’t have the deep fitness base you used to have. You can’t do three things at your max everyday. Back off and relax a bit!”

So this is what I’m trying to do. Listen to my body and to that little voice in my head that says “take it easy. Enjoy what you’re doing.” I’m so programmed to be “training” for something. It’s strange to not have a training plan that I have to follow. Some of you would likely think that this is a good thing – that life is too short for training plans and structure. Some days I think this and other days I crave this rigour and structure.

I guess this new “phase” of my cycling life is all about learning how to find the balance. How to balance getting out and doing everything I want: skate skiing, snowshoe running, running, road cycling, mountain biking and cyclocross racing – with not burning myself out and actually building some fitness. I don’t want to be mediocre at everything – I want to get my cycling fitness back, use this fitness when I’m out running on the trails or snow and simply enjoy being outside.

It’s not easy to make this transition. I’ll keep chipping away at it day-by-day – finding the groove and balance that works for me. I suppose this all any of us can do.

(Yes a bit of a lame title, but it fits for today.)

So last week I wrote about how I didn’t go out snowshoeing with a local group – I wrote about how I was feeling nervous about my fitness and not being able to “keep up”. I beat myself up pretty darn good over this. Well then I went out to the snowshoe race at the ARK and had so much fun and the extra bonus was I talked to folks who go out to the weekly snowshoe runs – these people convinced me to come out.

On Wednesday, I did it. I went out to the snowshoe run organized by Dave McMahon and Lise Meloche. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. But I was there and I was going to do it. Wow – I’m really glad I went out. I met a few new people. I ran. I played in the snow. I laughed. I panted. It was so much fun. It has been a very long time since I’ve run for close to 90 minutes but once I settled into a manageable pace I was just fine. I made the classic beginner mistake of going out a bit too fast but soon readjusted my pace. (The group stops to let everyone catch up and rest for a few minutes – so this really works for all abilities.)

There were people ahead of me. There were people behind me. I was never alone. There was constant chatter to keep things light and friendly. The sight of the bobbing headlamps weaving through the forest of the Gatineau Park was simply amazing. I have no idea where we went – I think it was a new “trail” – we ran through deep snow, we scrambled up super steep climbs, we leapt and slid down steep descents – it was fun and good for the soul.

At the end of the run I had a chance to talk with Lise a bit. Way back when, I took ski lessons from Lise and went out to the summer trail runs that Dave and Lise organise – Lise was asking where I’ve been for these past six years. I told her about my cyclocross racing, the ulcerative colitis, the fractured vertebrae, etc. I told her how I was just hoping to get “the most out of each day” and how being sick/injured has really reinforced to me how important it is to do “what you can when you can” – Lise has had her own battle with a very severe back injury so she and I were on the same page here. She said something that has stuck with me “just get out and enjoy the day. Do what you can and be happy that you can do it.”

I think this just might be my theme for 2013: do what I can and be grateful that I can do it. (Feel free to remind me of this theme when I start moaning on this website…)

(I’ll be out for the rest of the weekly snowshoe runs – if you’re thinking of coming out. To learn more about these runs, check out Natural Fitness Lab on Facebook and visit the Natural Fitness Lab website.)

Fun was had today. There was huffing and puffing. There was gasping and screams of delight. At times there was tripping and falling and other times it felt like my inner five year-old was letting loose. This good clean fun was had in the great outdoors and saw myself and many other hardy folks strap on the snowshoes to run, hike, scramble, tumble and laugh out loud during the second race in the Atlas Mad Trapper Snowshoe Series.

Located just 40 minutes north of Ottawa, near Wakefield, Quebec, the ARK is located on an amazing piece of property that truly is a big outdoor playground. This was my first time out to the ARK and boy have I been missing out. Think of a large yet cozy building surrounded by nature – this is the ARK.

I’d been curious about the snowshoe races held at the ARK ever since Derrick and Natasha started doing them. They told me how much fun they were and when some of my other friends agreed, I made it a goal this year to participate in the race series. I missed the first early race due to my lingering running injury – but today I was ready to go.

Of course there was a big pile of nerves along with this excitement and eagerness. But once I made my way to the ARK, pinned on my number and chatted with friends and new faces – I soon felt comfortable. It was an interesting group of people – dedicated runners, avid skiers, serious cyclists, and folks who just love to be outside. A pretty darn good group.

The race and race course were simply awesome. This was definitely a “hilly course”. These hills combined with the deep white snow made for some challenging times. I was very happy to learn before the race that it is “okay” to walk the hills. This was a valuable piece of information. Thanks to fine pace setting by Dawn, Heather and Vicki – it was a challenging yet enjoyable time to be running and hiking. Admittedly there were moments when I didn’t think I could climb another step but thoughts of the fun downhill kept me going. Once I found my groove on the descents, I really had a blast – this is when the inner five year-old comes out – I discovered I just had to “let go” and literally jump down the hills in the deep snow. So much fun.

The atmosphere of the event was excellent. Very friendly and outgoing. Afterwards everyone hung out in the ARK, enjoying some great food and tasty beverages. A large number of prizes were given away at random. Lots of laughs and stories were told of experiences out on the race course. Kudos to those folks who did the 10 km race – I cannot imagine doing two loops of that course. (Well, maybe next year…)

The next race in the series is on Jan. 26 and everyone says this one is the most fun – we run at night in the woods. Awesome. I’m really looking forward to this one (also because it promises to be less hilly!). If you’re new to snowshoes and snowshoe running – don’t be shy – come on out. This was only my second time running on my Atlas Run snowshoes and I really haven’t been doing much running – it didn’t matter.

Thanks to the organizer, Mike Caldwell and to everyone who was so encouraging and welcoming – I’m hooked.

Remember the other day when I wrote about “squeezing the most out of every healthy day”? I felt pretty good when I wrote that. Inspired. Motivated. Focused.

Well, the truth is sometimes I don’t live up to my lofty words and ideals. You see the thing is, sometimes I convince myself that I’m not strong enough, fast enough, fit enough, or simply good enough – and I don’t do what I want to do. This happened on Wednesday.

There is a local group here in Ottawa/Gatineau that meets twice a week for snowshoe runs in the Gatineau Park. I’ve wanted to go on these runs for a long time. Last night was the night. My bag was packed. My snowshoes were in the car. I was ready. Then during the day, I managed to talk myself out of going out to the snowshoe run.

I worried about being able to keep up with group.
I stressed about running for 90 minutes.
I mumbled to myself about a lingering heal injury.
I obsessed over the cold weather.
I told myself that I shouldn’t go.
I justified this with some twisted logic.
I let myself down.

Sometimes I let my crazy brain and insecurities win. I guess this makes me human – but I still hate it when this happens. Interesting how self-confidence can slip through my fingers like water.

Winter is here. In full force. The snowbanks in our front yard are now so high that I can’t see over them. All this snow is a good thing – it enables me to get out and snowshoe and skate ski – but I must admit that I can do without all this shovelling…

In between shovelling I’ve been getting out for some fun snowshoeing adventures. I’ve been out three times now – each time at a different location. After only three snowshoeing runs/walks I can see why people are so addicted to snowshoe running. Wow – what a work-out. Combine running with ankle to knee-deep snow and you’ve got a some seriously heavy breathing and burning legs. Oh and toss in a few steep climbs and you’ve got a great way to get outside and have some fun.

It takes a bit of practice to get the hang of running in the snowshoes but once I figured out that I need to lift my knees high and try to really step forward, things started to flow (a little bit). I’m doing a mix of running and walking – essentially because my fitness does not lend itself to outright running and because I’m still nursing some annoying running-induced injuries. But through it all – it is so much fun.

Today I drove out to Relais plein air in the Gatineau Park and explored trail 65. While the main trail is quite packed-down, there are lots of side trails that make for some challenging snowshoeing. I simply followed the already made tracks into the deep snow – for the most part these trails hooked up with the main trails. These side trails afforded me some awesome views, some steep climbs and some tricky descents that involved some jumping, sliding down on my bum, and hanging on to the random tree.

Super steep climb. Fun going up and even more fun going down!

View of the Gatineau Park from one of the climbs.

Kept warm with my trusty Omega-Pharma Lotto hat.

On Sunday I plan to do something I haven’t done in a long time… Skate ski. Yep – it is time to get out and see if I can remember how to ski. It has been six years since I’ve skied… I’m excited and a bit nervous. My plan is to go out early before the crowds arrive and to test out my legs, core and lungs on a flatish section of the Gatineau Park. I’m pretty sure it will be another fun day out in the snow.

Of course with all this activity, my thoughts are wandering towards 2013 and thinking about 2012. I could write a long post about the year that is almost over. But honestly it wasn’t the year that I had “planned” on. Sure there were lots of highlights: racing in the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series (and rediscovering why I love cyclocross), watching Marc race on the road and seeing how happy he was with the success of his young teammates, watching Marc have one of his best cyclo-cross seasons ever, and experiencing racing with such a robust and friendly women’s field in the Eastern Ontario Cyclocross Series. But along the way, I still have a bit of a bad taste in my mouth – really I’m still angry with my body and this darn disease. It is hard not to think of all the things I missed out on this past year. But there is not time to feel sorry for myself – all I can do is make sure I squeeze the most out of every healthy day I have. This means that in 2013 I might seem unfocused or not “serious” but this is not the case – rather I want to do it all – trail running, mountain biking (can’t wait to get out on my new 29er), road racing (just a little bit), and cyclocross racing. I will be staring with a coach in 2013 and I’m excited to get my fitness back and to build some newfound fitness.

Thanks for hanging out with me this past year – it has been a tough one but I’m confident that 2013 will be a good one.