I started this blog in 2007 as a way to write about my cyclo-cross racing and training experiences. Over the years thanks to this blog I’ve met an amazing group of people. I’ve reconnected with old friends. I’ve made new friends. And thanks to this website, I’ve been lucky to benefit from new opportunities.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog you likely know that I really try to be honest and open with how things are going. When life is good – you know it and when I’m struggling – you know it. In fact it is from this honesty and your amazing responses, comments, emails and messages that I’ve been able to keep perspective on what it is cyclo-cross racing and riding a bike are really all about. There have been times when I’ve felt like giving up or have been so sick that I couldn’t imagine getting on a bike – and you guys have been there – boosting me up and even giving me a stern “talking to” when I need it.

The power of community is simply amazing. The power of the cycling community is amazing. Well, today I just want you all to put your collective heads together and send some positive vibes out to a couple of my friends today. These two friends are super strong women who have been dealt a rotten hand thanks to ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. Both are struggling and I just know that they could benefit from your thoughts. So today when you’re out riding your bike or enjoying a good meal, think of how lucky you are and remember not to ever take anything for granted.

If you guys have taught me anything is it the little things that are important. Squeeze your kids tight and tell them you love them. Eat some dessert. Take the time to hold the door for a stranger. Have an attitude of gratitude. Think of that person you haven’t talked to in a while and pick up the phone. Think some happy thoughts.

And to my two friends: hang tough – the days will get better.

I just got in from my first outdoor ride of the season. What a day! Brilliant blue sky and a very warm sun. It was the perfect day to be outside riding a bike. Even better was that I was able to ride with Marc’s team and get in a solid long ride. It was one of those days we dream of all winter – out riding with a good group of people and just enjoying it all. (Admittedly the crosswinds weren’t so enjoyable…)

Today’s ride just reminded me how darn lucky I am. Really fortunate to be able to take an entire Sunday and just ride. There was no rushing to get out the door or to be back home at a specific time. We rode when the weather was perfect and had a nice little chat at the coffee shop. With the wind at our backs on the way home there were moments when everything was effortless.

Yes, very lucky. Very lucky indeed.

First off, many thanks for the amazing comments and feedback from my last blog post. It was encouraging to read your positive words. It is interesting to read that everyone seems to grapple with body image now and then – and both men and women. At the end of the day, it is all about being healthy and being able to get out and ride our bikes.

I just thought I’d take the opportunity today to touch base with you and let you know what I’m up to. Yes, kind of a sad excuse for a blog post but without any racing happening or outdoor riding, there isn’t too much to tell you about. It seems as though my deep thoughts happen while out riding around in the woods or rolling down a quiet road. On the trainer I’m captivated by wattage numbers, cadence numbers, the beeping interval timer and whatever program I’ve decided to watch. (Today I had a Cake Boss marathon and watched/listened to it for close to two hours as I got friendly with my CompuTrainer.)

Well, I have yet to venture outside for a real ride. I have dug out my city bike and taken it to the nearby Starbucks and today out in the rain to a yoga class. But other than this, I’ve stuck to the Computrainer to get my training rides in. The weather is warm but it is still quite wet out and right now I’m willing to wait until things dry up a bit more before I get outside. I also don’t have a “spring” bike so the trainer it is. Don’t get me wrong I’m itching to get outside and ride but right now I can get in better quality training on the trusty trainer.

Hmm, what else is going on? Well, I’m working on some new sponsorship opportunities for the 2012-2013 season. I’ll let you know as soon as I know what is happening! Check out my new sponsorship document over in the sidebar on the right, or click here.

The spring and early summer racing looks like it is a going to be a good time. It is refreshing to see so many local opportunities to get out and race. I’m looking forward to doing all the rides and races that in years past I wasn’t ready to do since I typically hadn’t started training again until March. I suppose the silver lining to my back injury is that I’m getting in lots of training now and will be ready to line up when the time comes this spring. Along with road racing I’m hoping to do some local mountain bike racing again – this is a great way for me to improve my technical skills and since this is the summer of “having as much fun as possible” it only makes sense to get out on my mountain bike.

Well, that is about it! Really life is just moving along really well. Looks like in a few weeks I’ll be starting a part-time job so this will be a change – I haven’t worked in an office in a couple of years but it will be refreshing to share my workday with someone other than Murphy the cat (he is not so great for water cooler conversation!). I hope you’re doing just as great as I am. Here’s to some dry roads and fun times.

Yesterday I was in my hot power yoga class enjoying the heat and the feeling of my muscles stretching. And then, I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I zeroed in on my arms. Sigh, they really aren’t looking like the arms I “want” to have. Not as toned and defined as I would like. I immediately went from being in the yoga zone to thinking about my nutrition of late and how I could get the arms I really want. Literally in an instant I went from enjoying my yoga class and feeling like a fit, strong woman to obsessing over the state of my arms.

Yes, pretty silly really. In reality there is absolutely nothing wrong with my arms – but sometimes in the mirror we get glimpse of ourselves that really we aren’t prepared for. We start comparing ourselves to others. When you add being a cyclist to the mix, the body image problems can really start to get intense.

As we get ready for the start of the road season, the scale and our body fat percentages all of sudden can be the deal-breakers in whether we feel fit or not – regardless of the long hours on the trainer, the training camps down south and the improved core strength from time in the gym and yoga studio. Nope, our judgement of our cycling season comes down to how we look in our spandex.

This is a dangerous road. We all know of cyclists who simply don’t eat. They avoid carbs. They won’t have a recovery drink. And goodness, don’t expect to ever see them have a peanut butter bar when stopping at a coffee shop on a long five hour ride. We all know someone like this.

I went through a phase where I was very strict on my nutrition – to the point where I stopped eating carbohydrates. It happened innocently enough – I wanted to lose weight so I started keeping a food journal and tracking my weight. I started eating more protein and reducing my carbohydrate intake. Gradually as I saw I was losing weight and getting lots of compliments from people on how good I looked, I simply stopped eating carbohydrates. No bread. No pasta. No rice. I ate fruit and vegetables and told Marc this was where I was getting my carbohydrates. Well, it took some stern words from Marc and a few other friends for me to realize what I had done. It is so easy to slip into this.

Now, I’m not as thin as I was a few years ago. But I’m healthy. My body is stronger and I have the fuel and resources I need to do back-to-back hard rides. Some days I think about those few summers ago when I was at my lightest. I felt so confident back then. And now, I feel the same (it took some work to get to this point). I feel good about my food. I train hard. And I no longer compare myself to others.

Cycling is a sport where being light helps. But remember most of us are not climbing Alp d’Huez. We’re doing this seriously but we’re not being paid lots of money to do it. Think of why you started cycling in the first place and why as an adult you continue to do it – because you love riding your bike and love the feeling of the wind on your face as you zip along the road. As the spring weather arrives and we all show up for the first races of the season, remember the hard work you did in the winter to be fit and don’t obsess over who is skinnier than you. Get on your bike and talk with your legs. Feel good about yourself. (Yes, this applies to men and women.)

I’m angry and I really don’t know what to do about it. Earlier this week we learned that Steven Cozza of Team NetApp was forced to end his cycling career. Steven Cozza has ulcerative colitis and has been trying to live the life of a professional athlete with this disease. From what I can understand from the article and his Tweets, Steven has been dealing with a rotten ulcerative colitis flare for a long time.

I feel for Steven. I’ve never met Steven but I can empathize and understand what he is going through. It is damn frustrating and very disheartening to read of someone who has to put their life on hold for this damn disease. I don’t know why but this news has hit me hard – I suppose it is because people like Steven who had “done it” and were “doing it” are a big example to me and remind me that even with a bad gut and angry colon – a full life can be enjoyed.

I really hope that Steven can get on top of his ulcerative colitis and get back to normal life. Sometimes life is so damn unfair. All the best Steven – I’m rooting for you and sending you some powerful healing thoughts.

I have a feeling this anger will be channeled into my pedals today. Too bad Steven can’t do the same.