A few weeks ago I swam in my very first swim meet.

This was huge for me. So many unknowns. So many doubts. So much anxiety and stress.

But I did it. I am very fortunate to have a very good friend (and swim coach) who encouraged me to do the meet and provided the steadiness I needed on the day.

I swam the 200, 100, 50, and 800 events – all freestyle. Each of these events felt like they were over before they started.

I had one goal for the day – swim in a straight line. Yep, it’s harder than you think to do this. So my focus was on staying on top of that black line at the bottom of the pool. This goal and focus helped calm my brain from trying to think of all the swimming things.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it – I was super nervous before my first event, the 200. So nervous that while standing behind the blocks I had a bit of a panic attack. For me this results in tears simply pouring from my eyes. For the people around me this was startling. But I expected this to happen and knew (hoped) this would settle.

And guess what? It did.

All it took was jumping in the water and getting set for the start. No diving off the blocks for me.
Once I was in the water, I focused on the starter and listening for the beep. After that, it was a blur.

Once I swam my first event, the panic and intense nerves were gone. I did it. And I knew I could do it again.

I should tell you that during the warm-up for the meet, I did have some serious doubts. In fact at one point, I thought “this pool is too big, there is no way I can swim 50 meters.” Yep, I was nervous. Fortunately, I have a bit of experience in pushing back these kind of fears and was able to counter this thought-process with something along the lines of “you swam 1,000 meters in practice last week and you can swim 4,000 meters in the open water – so you can do this.”

Everything about this swim meet was a positive experience. The people, the vibe, the swimming, the feeling of accomplishment, and the fatigue. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

And guess what? No one cared that I didn’t dive off the blocks or that I was one of the slower swimmers. I was there and I was doing it.

This swim meet did something big for me. It gave me confidence. This confidence has trickled over into other parts of my life. I notice I’m playing better hockey with my Friday afternoon gang. I’m swimming better in my regular swim practices.

Most importantly, I believe in myself. I know I can do hard things. I know I can overcome self-doubt. I know I can.