Well, it has been a year. What a year it has been.

This time last year I was not in a good place. I had the shingles. I felt terrible physically and mentally. I was done. Ready to give in.

What a difference a year makes. I was doing some sketching the other day and I flipped back in my sketchbook to see what I was up to on Dec. 20, 2018… Nothing… There is a big gap between Dec. 16 and 29, 2018. I guess this is when the wheels fully fell off.

The good news is, the wheels are back on and the spares are ready to go. I’m finally starting to feel more like myself. Slowly but surely my energy is coming back – I attribute this to finally getting my vision problems (thanks shingles) fixed. I’ve got a contact lens in my right eye and a brand new eye glass prescription  – and now I can see again.

What a difference. And I fully believe this is why my energy is starting to rebound. Not being able to see is a struggle. Seriously, go get the Shingrix vaccine… I wish I had had the vaccine.

So, enough about that. So long 2019. Bring on 2020.

I don’t set New Year’s resolutions. But I do try to make small changes in my life on a regular basis. There was that time I decided to give up peanut butter… yeah, that didn’t last too long.

I read a post on Instagram where the author suggested choosing a word for the year. I like this one. I wasn’t sure what to choose and then this morning I didn’t go swimming and I started obsessing about not working out/training today. I was doing a good job of beating myself up for not training today…. and then my word came to me:

Flexibility

This word has a lot of meaning for me. I’m a planner. I like schedules. I like to know every single detail and have my days mapped out (well in advance). Kind of the opposite of flexible. I do this planning because it helps me lower my anxiety and stress over uncertainty. But maybe, this planning habit is actually creating more stress. Overthinking, planning, scheduling – whatever you call it – I do it big time.

I’m not going to fully let the reins go and stop planning. But I’m going to work hard on being flexible. I slept in, didn’t get to the pool – no big deal. It’s too warm to fat bike – okay, so I won’t fat bike. And that’s it. No ruminating, overthinking about what I could do instead, and hand-wringing because I didn’t train. Just, accepting it and moving on. This is my version of flexible.

Okay, end serious stuff….

It’s the end of a decade. Here’s a couple photos from what was happening my life 10 years ago:

It feels like a lifetime ago that I was in my prime physical fitness, racing and training in Belgium and getting ready for the 2010 World Cyclocross Championships.

These photos are a great reminder of what is possible: