As is normal for me, I’ve gone and pushed my limits again. Not that I’ve done anything crazy, nope rather simply training and riding my bike. After a heavy two week block it has become obvious that I cannot right now put together two hard/long back-to-back days. This is frustrating. This is not where I want to be right now. But it is what it is.

This state of affairs has nothing to do with my training regime or lack of desire. Nope – if only it were that simple. Rather this is the result of my body. I’ve had to admit that it is just not ready yet. I’m just not ready yet. I keep telling myself that I’m healthy and that I am “normal”. Well, as it turns out, I’m not. My ulcerative colitis symptoms are not around but I’m suffering from the impact of getting so sick in December. I’m at a point now where my medicine is keeping me in a remission but I simply cannot get my ferritin (iron) levels at a normal level.

A ferritin level of 11 is not normal. I should be at around 100. I’ve tried to do all I can with this measly number of 11, but it really isn’t taking me very far. So now I’ve had to admit that this is where I’m at. And figure out how to deal with it.

Thanks to some words of wisdom from Marc, I’ve been forced to admit that I’m not healthy – I’m still sick. I need to get healthy and then I can do what I want. This doesn’t mean I’m not training. It just means that my training is different. No hard back-to-back days. No more really long rides. If I’m tired, I don’t ride. And the hardest part of all – to not berate myself when I don’t ride or I have to cut a ride short.

I’m still focused on my goal of racing at the 2012 World Cyclo-Cross Championships in Koksijde, Belgium – but now I’ve got another goal I have to accomplish first – get healthy. So this is where I’m at. As much as I’d like this to be an instant gratification goal – I realize that in this case and is often the case with most goals worth attaining, slow and steady is the only approach.

(If you have any suggestions on how I can get my ferritin levels up to  a normal level, let me know. As it is, I can’t take any over-the-counter supplements so this kind of makes things a bit more challenging. But at this point I’m open to anything.)

I realized yesterday that I really need some new cycling shorts. My shorts just don’t fit anymore. They chafe, they rub and they’re a bit baggy. Not what one wants in a pair of cycling shorts. Problem is, I can’t get myself some new shorts just yet. You see, I need to finalize the design of my Ottawa Cross racing and training kit first. And I can’t do this until I have my sponsors for the 2011-2012 season firmed up. And this isn’t done yet. So instead of getting a new snazzy clothing design done, sending it off to the great folks at Champions Systems Canada and riding around in my new non-chafing, no-rub, and not-baggy shorts, showing off my new sponsors – I ride around in my old kit and suffer in silence.

So – this is where you come in… I’ve always said that through this site I’ve felt like we’ve built a little community of like-minded folks. So now, I’m turning to you my community members for some help. Alright here goes:

Maybe you are the someone I’m looking for. Maybe you’re the person who works at a company/owns a company/has a product or service that could benefit from the exposure and publicity I can give. Maybe you are the someone who knows someone who has a company/owns a company/has a product or a service that can benefit from the exposure and publicity I can give. Or maybe you’re the someone who knows someone who knows someone who has a company/owns a company/has a product or service that can benefit from the exposure or publicity I can give.

So assuming you’re that someone, here is how it all works:

– We sit down and talk and work out the details of a sponsorship arrangement. (No, I don’t need lots of money. Just some money. Really any money.)

– I explain how this money will be used. (To cover travel and living expenses while in Europe.)

– I explain to you how I will help you. (Giving exposure to your company/service/product/brand through my web site, Twitter and Facebook posts. In addition when people ask I’ll speak professionally and confidently about what your company/service/product/brand is and I’ll also highlight how you’re helping me out.)

– I tell you how I’ll go the extra mile for you. (I’ll get involved in any corporate fund raising campaigns you have. I can attend company events and do motivational speaking. I can contribute to your internal newsletter. I can write guest blog posts for your web site.)

– We look at the current Ottawa Cross kit and decide how to change it. (Your logo and company name/product/brand/service will be featured prominently on the kit. Maybe you have corporate colors – no problem, we’ll change the colors of the Ottawa Cross kit.)

– We shake hands. We smile. And we feel good. I’m happy because I can get new shorts. You’re happy because you’re doing something good by helping an athlete reach her goals and dreams. See – you’re smiling now – happy that you’re the someone who can help make this all come together.

Here’s to you being my someone or helping me find my someone. Here’s to a fantastic 2011-2012 cyclo-cross racing season.

I’m excited to be racing all over North America and getting back to Europe again to race, train and show off my new shorts.

So on Sunday I had a not so great day on the bike. I fought the bike and my body for the entire ride. Well Monday was a rest day and I gladly soaked up all of the rest I could. Today it was back out on the bike… I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Well the good news is I felt really good. Had an excellent ride and was able to get through my sprint intervals really well. The big question remains: how will I feel tomorrow. Time will tell I guess. I’m crossing my fingers that Sunday was a “one-off” and that I can handle hard back-to-back days.

I’m getting used to the rolling nature of the roads around Lakefield and Peterborough. Unlike riding from Ottawa/Barrhaven where flat is pretty much the way it goes, the roads here are rarely flat. There aren’t super steep climbs but the rollers can get to you after a while – especially for a dedicated flatlander like me…

I’ve been slow to post this (my apologies Dawn) but if you’re looking for a mountain bike, my friend Dawn is selling one. Here are the specs on her bike:

Garry Fisher HifiPlus GS.   Good all round mountain bike.  Size 15.5″, with a Bontrager Relic fork, Fox float RP3 shock, Juicy 3 brakes, Shimano Deore shifters.  It is in excellent condition and has been ridden barely 100km.  Price is $1200.00.

If you are interested, please call 819 827-3520 and ask for Dawn or e-mail p.bettinni at yahoo.ca

Dawn has also got a BMX bike for sale over at PinkBike.com. The BMX is We the People Primate and is priced at $450.00.  It has some nice additions, like a Tree sprocket and a purple chain and other little items to lighten it up.

So there you have it – if you’re looking for a mountain bike or a BMX – check out Dawn’s bikes.

(I’m secretly thinking about taking up BMX riding this summer. Rumor on the street in Belgium is that BMX riding/racing helps a lot with cyclo-cross skills and may just help me find that elusive acceleration and cornering skills that I’m looking for…)

Well, I’m off to put my legs up and think positive thoughts for tomorrows ride. Looks like I’ve got tempo intervals on deck. Whatever it is – I’ll take it. Much better than the alternative.

There comes a time during spring riding when I’m crossing the ever so fine line of being overdressed and just right. You’ll notice that I didn’t suggest that I’d ever be underdressed. I never ever underdress. I have a thing about being cold so for me during the spring I’m usually riding a round with a bright red face because I’ve got on too many layers or if I’m lucky the flush is coming only from my effort rather than too many layers of high-tech fabrics. Well, it seems we’ve reached this time of the year.

Saturday I was just right. No gloves. No hat. Leg warmers and one pair of shorts. (Yes, I’ve been known to double-short on occasion – I don’t want my legs to get cold…) Perhaps I did have one too many layers up top and maybe I didn’t need the buff/neck tube thingamajig. But everyone needs a little bit of a comfort blanket now and then.

So Saturday was spectacularly warm and very welcomed. Sunday not so much. It rained. It poured. The wind was fierce. But thanks to my overdressing tendencies I was just fine – nothing Sealskin socks and gloves, double shoe covers, thermal tights, waterproof MEC pants (yes the baggy ones), three layers, plus a thermal jacket, plus a rain cape – couldn’t protect me from.

The only thing I battled on my solo three hour journey on Sunday was my brain. Seems like my body isn’t on the same page as me right now. I want to be able to do back-to-back hard and long days. I want this right now. I believe I should have this right now. Problem is – I don’t. My body isn’t ready. So instead of admitting this during my self-induced pity and sufferfest on Sunday, I did something that I know I should never ever do – I gave up on myself. I did think for a bit that I was under fueled so I took this opportunity to find solace and energy in two cans of Coke (yes, I know) and the most delicious “gas station brownie” ever (you know the one in the cellophane wrapper that is super gooey and every so chocolatey). Well this infusion of sugar and chocolate did nothing for my legs but it did put me in a bit of sugar coma for a bit – enough to get me home, if every so slowly.

This getting back on track or rebuilding fitness or whatever you want to call it – well, it isn’t fun. Now I know why comebacks are such a big deal. It is hard to comeback. It so much easier to get better or to improve rather than rebuild and then get even better from there. So yesterday was a bit of not-fun day. But it is all about perspective. My day was still pretty darn good considering I was able to get out and ride my bike for three hours – slow pace and crazy brain notwithstanding.

As one of my taekwon-do coaches said to me after I lost a sparring competition “It takes losing to appreciate how much you value winning”.

Just a quick post to let you know that life has been a bit crazy since Monday. We found out on Monday that my dad had a heart attack on Sunday… He didn’t learn this himself until going to the hospital on Monday…

Marc and I drove to Lakefield on Monday and I’ll likely be here until next week. My dad is off to Toronto today via ambulance and he will have a stent inserted on Thursday. He will be home on Friday.

Suffice it to say, it has been a tiring week so far with not much else happening. Please send all your thoughts off to Toronto to be with my dad as he goes through this surgery.

Many thanks to the amazing staff at the Peterborough General Hospital. As well thanks to all the people here in Lakefield and from far-away (Nipawin) for the phone calls, the visits, the food – everything is deeply appreciated.