Just sitting here chilling out. Trying hard to wind down for the day and let my mind clear. This can be a struggle at times. But so far not bad for a Thursday.

Had a great day yesterday in Antwerp. Read all about my day over at Victoria’s Island. If you find yourself in Belgium, definitely check out Antwerp. It will not disappoint.

So what’s happening in cyclo-cross land? Honestly – not much. I’m winding down the training and just enjoying being on my bike. Hopped on the group ride for a bit today. Didn’t do the whole ride – wet and windy today. So I turned back and made a stop at the health food store in Blauberg and then sucked Marc and Ed’s wheels back to Westmeerbeek.

Marc and Ed have the Masters Worlds this Saturday. I’m looking forward to being there and cheering them on. And of course working the pits – hopefully I’ve got all my pit kinks out and everything will run smoothly. I kind of wish I could race at Mol, but rules are rules. And in another way, I’m super happy that I can’t race at Mol – it means I have come a long way.

Well, really not much else for you today. I know I promised some musings on my season, plans for the future, goals, and how I’m going to get there. Well, I won’t be posting anything about this until I have a chance to talk to Coach Steve and Nick. So expect, mid-February. I’ve also got to work out my goals for the road racing season.

This pretty sums up my state of mind right now. Happy.

Happy to be here in Belgium. Happy to be riding my bike outside. Just generally happy. I’ve managed over the last little bit to have some time to think about my season. You know – it was pretty darn good. I improved so much over last year. I went from finishing in the 20s in the New England Verge Series to consistently finishing in the top 12. I was 8th at elite nationals (I was 3rd in the masters category the year before). I won the Ontario Provinicial cyclo-cross elite women’s race. And here in Belgium – I have continued to improve. Last year I was getting lapped in races – so typically I was over 8 minutes off the pace of the winner. This year I got lapped only once (a poor ride at Zolder with a cold and some serious nerves). The rest of the time I finished with no danger of being lapped – beating girls by over two minutes who the previous year were beating me by two minutes.

I’m not trying to brag – but I just need to see this in black and white to remind myself how far I’ve come. It also helps to remind me how much farther I want to go.

A few people have been asking around, wondering why I’m not racing anymore. Well, as I’ve written here before, I’ve hit my limit with ‘cross racing for this season. I struggled with motivation in Surhuisterveen so I didn’t go to Roubaix. I missed a few races due to my flu experience. But really, I only did not complete one race on my schedule – Roubaix. There is no big mystery here.

This season I did much more racing and training than ever. I came here – had some good races, got sick, had some more good races, had a tough race, got sick again, raced well again, and then the wheels finally fell off. This is not failure. This is a learning experience.

Don’t worry, I’m not quitting. I’m simply done for the season. I finished a few days earlier than planned. But I’m already working on a plan for next year. Slowly ticking things off in my brain. I’ll do more when I get home during my rest week. I’ll have a chance to talk to my coach and with my sports psychologist.

This has been a great season. I had a tremendous road season. Transitioned nicely to the cyclo-cross season. Raced a long season and best of all I get to finish it off in the mecca of cyclo-cross. Doesn’t get much better.

Scored two of the best items ever today at Van Eyck in Geel. Full-zip Vermarc tights (yes Shaun – the ones we were searching for last year!). Neils Albert World Champion toque (hat) – so smooth – white with the World Champ stripes and the worlds Neils Albert on it. Who knew I could get so excited over a pair of tights and a hat! Easily pleased I guess.

On the group ride I met a friendly Belgian man who was very interested in my trip here and my racing. I told him I didn’t qualify for the World Champs. His response – “Well, you’re in the prime of your life. Try again for next year!”. I like the way this guy thinks!

Okay, I’m out. I’m taking the day off the bike tomorrow and taking a trip to Antwerp. Some walking. Some sight seeing. Some shopping. Hopefully a nice coffee shop. A visit to the yarn store. Some picture taking. Should be good. Marc and Ed are off to Mol tomorrow to ride the Masters World Champs course. Racing action is this Saturday.

So sorry. Had a super good post mapped out in my brain for today. I wrote it while riding today. But then I got busy. Did some messing around on the computer. Did some yoga. Chillaxed. Made supper – chicken curry with onion, zuchini, peppers, brown rice, quinoa (for me), and salad. Sort of skyped with my parents. Watched an episode of Top Chef. And now here we are. And the super awesome post is gone. Vanished from this brain of mine. Maybe it will come back. (Doubtful…)

So here is what I have for today, a quote I found on Simon Whitfield’s blog:

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”
-Michelangelo

I like it. Spot on for me right now. I’m working on the new season. Ruminating. Planning. Thinking. Pulling things together.

Marc has the Masters World Championships this Saturday in Mol, Belgium. It is going to be a good one – I just know it. He was out at Mol today riding the course. Doing some drills. Finding his groove. He is hooked up with some super tires and wheels for the race – thanks to our pal Bart at Van Eyck Sports in Geel.

Rough one it seems for most people in Roubaix yesterday. Hey – it is experience in the bank. It is done. Put it to rest and look forward. The season is still young and the big show is yet to come. Eat some chocolate. Heck – buy a jar of the Cote D’Or chocolate spread (it is so good) and have a nice post-ride chocolate sandwich. Have some fun on the bike. Smile and remember why you race.

(Gee, maybe I should follow my own advice. Eh?)

Sorry, kind of quiet here right now. I’m in a funny place. My season is over. I’m trying to take a break from thinking about racing. This means that I’m really trying hard not to think about my season. What worked and what didn’t. Don’t take this to mean that I’m not going to go on that journey. Just not now. Right now I need to just chill. Read. Knit. Ride. Vegetate.

In a word though: hungry.

Really, I don’t have much for you today. No deep thoughts. No reflections. No plans. No motivating words.

Just quiet.

(Don’t worry there will be more to come.)

Now is the perfect time to say thank-you.

Thank-you to my sponsors: without the support of Kingsbridge, The Cyclery, Cycle-Smart, Outdoor Gear Canada, MountainGoat Yoga, and Clif Bar – I wouldn’t be sitting here in Belgium right now.

Thank-you to Marc – he has been my rock.

Thank-you to Steve Weller for the awesome coaching and advice.

Thank-you to Steve P. for his tireless work on my bikes and his steady technical training advice and support.

Thank-you to you – for your comments, emails, positive vibes, smiles, and kind words.

Well, I am winding down here in Belgium. I’m done racing for the season. I was supposed to race the World Cup in Roubaix, France this Sunday. But I’m not racing. Don’t worry I’m not quitting. I still want to race my cyclo-cross bike. I still want to improve. I still want to race at Tabor next year.

But for now – I’m done. I realized it during the race on Wednesday. I had no oomph. No get up and go. I couldn’t force myself to go hard. I couldn’t convince myself to dig that extra amount.

I guess I’m stale. Burnt out. Call it what you want. I’m simply done. I’ve never really felt like this before. In a way, it is a good thing it has happened. Now when I get home I can sit down with my coach and with Nick from Summit Consulting to discuss this experience. We can figure out what went right, what needs to be improved, and what needs to be outright changed. I don’t know if I raced too much. I don’t know if I should have taken a break during the ‘cross season. I don’t know if it is because I essentially came here without any goals. Don’t know.

I’m not going to stress about it. Every season is a learning experience. This has been a big year for me. I set a big goal. I didn’t achieve that goal but in the process I achieved many smaller tertiary goals. I’m a better bike racer and person because of these experiences. Champions aren’t built in one season – so this year is about groundwork.

So now what? Well, I’m here until Feb. 3. I’m going to keep riding. The weather is perfect. The snow is gone. The sun is shining. And right now, I’m still enjoying riding my bike. In fact today I went out for three hours. A great ride along the canal. I felt super energized when I got in. So I know my head hasn’t fallen off completely. Just a little….

So this is where I’m at. I appreciate your support and encouragement. It really makes a difference to know that so many people are following my progress and are cheering for me. Don’t worry – I’ll be back even stronger for the road season and even more determined and focused for the 2009 – 2010 ‘cross season.

Have a good weekend. Hopefully it isn’t too cold where you are and you can get out and enjoy the great outdoors. If you’re in Ottawa (where it is cold), go check out the roller rides that the West of Quebec Wheelersare hosting. Sounds like a decent way to start the weekend. (I believe there are Saturday morning roller rides in Aylmer…)