Yes, today I’m angry. It was a beautiful day here in Belgium and I could not ride my bike. Instead I spent time at with another doctor and walked rather slowly around Aarschot with Nikoline.

Now I know some of you are wringing your hands and shaking your heads because I’m feeling angry and frustrated… I know that I should be thankful that I have two fully functioning legs and that I will ride a bike again. But I am still angry. Last season was cut short due to the ulcerative colitis and now this season, after only two races in Belgium is over. So, yes – I’m angry.

It was a lot of work to rebuild my fitness, regain my confidence, improve my technical skills and get ready for another season of cyclocross racing. And now, it is all gone. Honestly, it just isn’t fair. I’m not a “poor me” kind of person – but right now I’m tired of being “tested” and “challenged”.

All I wanted was one good year…

Well, as most of you likely know by now, my weekend of racing didn’t happen. I was supposed to race the Koksijde World Cup on Saturday and in the Super Prestige race in Gieten, the Netherlands on Sunday – but due to a rough crash on Friday my season has ended prematurely.

To briefly sum up – I crashed during the Koksijde World Cup course pre-ride and have fractured a vertebrae in my back. I am lucky. Really lucky. I can walk and move around. I don’t need surgery or a brace. I don’t know all the details about my injury – admittedly I was in shock on Friday when the doctor told me the results and I didn’t even think to ask the questions I should have. I do have a document written in Flemish and a CD-ROM with the CT-Scan image on it…

I was told to see an orthopaedic specialist this week – so tomorrow I’ll go see a doctor in Ramsel and get a referral to an orthopaedic doctor. I’ll know more tomorrow about the exact vertebrae I’ve injured and how serious the injury is.

Apart from the back pain and residual muscle tightness, the really annoying side effects of this injury are the sensations in my right quad. My quad is numb and is either in full-on “pins and needles” or red hot pain. It seems like the muscles in my quad can’t relax and are in complete spasm. It really feels like my leg is not really there…

But enough talk about this bad luck – lets talk about the weekend. Had a good night Friday with the good crew we had gathered at our plush house in De Panne. Big thanks to Stefan Wyman for arranging the top-notch accommodations – it helps so much to not be staying in a hotel. We had lots of room to spread out, cook food and just relax. Many thanks to Stefan, Helen and Ian for putting up my endless chatter and slightly melancholy mood!

Race day was a bit odd for me – first time I’ve been at a World Cup as a spectator. I found a quiet spot on the course and did my best to cheer on all my racing pals. I even signed an autograph and had my photo taken with a couple of guys – not bad for a hobbled Canadian cyclo-cross racer/superfan!

Many thanks to all of you who came by to see how I was doing and to offer some kind words! It really was super nice. Quickly after the race we (Ignace, Nikoline and I) hopped in Ignace’s mobile home and hit up the open road for Gieten. After a long and windy drive we arrived at our super awesome StayOK hostel in Schmeeda. This was my first time staying in a hostel – it really wasn’t a hostel – more like a bed and breakfast. For 28 Euros you get a very large and plush room and a solid breakfast in the morning. We dropped our bags and went on a walking tour of Schmeeda looking for food. At 10 pm we landed in a pizzeria/Schwarma restaurant and settled into some good meals.

Sunday morning came fast and furious and we were off to Gieten (30 minutes away) for Nikoline’s race. She had a great race – getting some UCI points and prize money. We hit the road quickly and after many more hours of windy driving we made it home. Many thanks to Ignace for all of the driving, race support, kind words, and cyclocross knowledge – he really makes the racing and travel so much easier. Also thanks to Nikoline for the great company and for putting up with my moodiness!

So, I didn’t get to race but I still had a good weekend hanging out with my friends, cheering on my friends and just enjoying being out and about. As for what’s next – I honestly don’t know. I need to talk with the doctors, talk to Marc, and really take some time to think.

I’m still a bit numb to the reality that for a second year in a row my season has ended in November. I’m sure that later on down the road I’ll find a silver lining in all of this.

Well, I’m sitting here in the plush villa that Stefan Wyman arranged for us in De Panne. We’ve got a good group of us here relaxing the night before the World Cup. But the thing is – I won’t be racing tomorrow. Or for a while for that matter…

I crashed during training today and fractured a vertebrae in my spine.

Now I’m going to be okay. I can walk and move around. I’m just in a lot of pain – my back is in spasm, my right thigh is completely numb, and my back plain old hurts. And I’ve got a nasty scrape on my face – first black eye I’ve had in a long time! But my body will heal. The orthopaedic surgeon said it will be about six weeks until I’ve recovered.

So another cyclocross season is over. I think I’m in shock right now.

As for what I do next – I really don’t know. For now I’ll just relax and maybe just maybe I’ll hit up the bakery across the street for a sweet rice tart!

Feeling better today. Think I’ve been battling the flu all week. The headaches and unhappy stomach would indicate this. Well, it is a double race weekend so the flu has no choice but to be gone! So I’ve determined that it is gone (or at least hoping)!

We’re off to Koksijde in a few hours. I’ll get in a couple laps of the sandy course and then it is off to our rented house in De Panne for the evening. Racing on Saturday afternoon at 1:30 Belgian time. After this race it is a quick clean-up and then a 4.5 hour drive to Gieten, Holland for number two on the race schedule on Sunday.

I’ll post tonight about the race course and my thoughts on it. At this point I’m thinking it will be very similar to last year’s course. Sand, sand, more sand and some crazy descents. Anything less and it just wouldn’t be Koksijde!

Keep sending those healing vibes.

(On another note – I had the battery replaced in my Timex Ironman digital watch and now it won’t make any beeps or alarms. Any ideas?)

Normally Wednesdays are a big training day with me with a morning and afternoon training session. But not this week. Nope, today I haven’t even gone outside. I’m sick either a flu or some ulcerative colitis symptoms – not sure yet. Anyway, I spent the bulk of my day sleeping and I’m about to go back to sleep.

I did watch this video today (thanks to Katy Chancey for posting it on her blog), and thought you might find something in it: